Back to Black

"Maybe death is the great equalizer, the one big thing that can finally make strangers shed a tear for one another"- Tuesdays With Morrie

The first ever Guest-blog by a friend and a true Amy Winehouse fan. Happy Reading! :)

One of my favorite teachers always ridiculed me for my weird fascination with troubled pop tarts. Amy Jade Winehouse was a newbie to crack into the list. And soon she outshone many.

With a voice that was filled with such power and pain that it was at once entirely human yet laced with the divine. That enveloped vulnerability and also displayed her fiery persona at the same time.

I remember earning scorn from my friends and braving blows urging me to “shut the wailing bitch up or die.” But I never capitulated and now they ended up shedding a tear at her demise.

My niece made a beautiful Diary on Amy Winehouse that she completed just 2 days before she heard that Amy died. All glum, she rang me up and squeaked “So no more music coming from her?”

Wino did have an impact.

Her delicious first jazz-influenced venture “Frank” was soon overshadowed by her sophomore record that led to her meteoric rise to fame and also helped her find and wondrously display her 'voice'. ''Back to Black'' catapulted her to super stardom, a record amalgamating rock, pop, soul, ska (of which little is left) all in one. It also won her the ''biggie'' Record of the Year at 2008 Grammy Awards.

Her throaty-sultry vocals only added to the charm but her lyric is what I had a penchant for, what always engrossed me, intrigued me. Every word she put was deeply thought over (look up for Wake Up Alone & Some Unholy War). Her songwriting stays nonpareil. Was so dark and uncannily mirrored the fact that she knew she wouldn't hold on to life for long. She saw it coming!

She really lived the blues. She poured her ache through her songs. An unbridled fountain of pain that she masked through her songwriting! I feel as if her songs had more wisdom than she!

And Rehab happened! Breaking into the Top10 in the States. A feat that paved path for the ''big voice'' artists ruling the charts currently. It won her 4 Grammys.

Rehab that has become an anthem for the troubled, echoed her defiance projecting heartbreak, a craving to be adored and also how drinking replaced Love in her life.

Stubborn as a mule and fierce, She lived on her own terms- uncontrolled, rebellious and untamed. Her body art and her alcoholic logic only cement that. How at her every live performance she never eschewed having more than just a drink and mockingly said “It's my gig, no one can have me doing what I don’t want.”

There is no way u can mellow a Lioness. (which is exactly what she coined her own label 'Lioness Record Label')

Unveling at Madame Tussauds @ London on 23rd July 2008- exactly 3 years before her death date, 23rd July 2011.

Her songs, extremely dark, boast of sex, drugs, drinking and of being lovesick. How beautifully she used expletives in bluesy retro-soul tunes! Fearlessly hilarious. Supremely drunk on pride.

They ooze ache, mirror her heartpour; her lyric was impeccably honest and autobiographical. Humorously honest. Enchanting!

She was utterly hardcore. Thoroughly enjoyable. And not mere tabloid fodder. She was a muse! She glorified being inebriated but even her tipsy performances were pitch-perfect. She never stooped so low as pop acts today to sell her talent. She was too much talent, all raw; that never required Autotune, or publicity gimmicks. Maybe that's why she wasn't as famous but those who knew her were well acquainted with the talent that she housed!

She may have topped polls in 'The worst dressed' and 'The most hated in UK' but that never eclipsed her talent. Her 'sound' spoke volumes.

How she has managed to carve an impression with a slim set of music she offered and with only half a decade into prominence.

Her best came out with Mark Ronson: Rehab, Tears Dry On Their Own, Wake Up alone, Love Is A Losing Game and You Know I’m Know Good!! All recommended.

And her cover of the Zuton's Valerie is such a good track to wake up to. How she made it her own.

Talking about drugs she sang on Addicted:

'It's got me addicted, does more than any dick did'

Quite a statement in itself.

And she does heartbreak so good on the track 'Back To Black' that it even made Barkha Dutt exclaim “She wasn't my generation of music, but how I LOVED back to black.”

A lyric in which she is in a funeral ceremony that bids her broken heart adieu.

“U went back to what u knew,

so far removed from all that we've been through,

And I tread a troubled track,

My odds are stacked and I go back to black'

And about falling out of love on Tears Dry On Their Own so cockily

“We could have never had it all,

We had to hit a wall,

so this is the inevitable withdrawl,

I can not blame myself again,

I shud just be my own best friend,

Not fuck myself in the head with stupid men”

And she craved for love, dismissing the whole idea at the same time in the gorgeous Love Is A Losing Game. It leaves an ever-lingering effect and makes you to break into a reverie.

“Though i'd better blind,

Love is a fate resigned.

Memories mar my mind,

Love is a fate resigned.

Over futile odds,

Laughed at by the gods.

And now the final frame,

Love is a losing game”

About her wandering eye on the You Know I’m No Good- the chorus of which seems so befitting to what everyone expected of her:

“I cheated myself like I knew I would,

I told you I was trouble, You know i'm no good”

A death foretold?

The Rolling Stones Mick Jagger opined “I fear Amy Winehouse might die” after performing with her at the IOW festival, 2008. A gamut of famous people echoed the same. There was also a website launched back in 2007 christened 'whenwillamywinehousedie.com' which urged users to book a date for the inevitable. And the 4 winners who had their luck with the prophecy were gifted an Ipod Touch! Cold!

Everyone was right. It all spiraled down. Her mortal coil undid itself way too soon.

Her mother’s reaction to her death was just as shocking- “It was only a matter of time, she seemed out of it.” And her father had written a eulogy for her back in 2007 after she had a seizure and was rushed to a hospital.

After passing, she joined the likes of Nirvana's Kurt Cobain, Janis Joplin, Robert Johnson and Jimi Hendrix. The Club “27 Forever”.

A club, according to me, lionized for all the wrong reasons. People fail to understand that what Kurt, Janis, Jimi and Amy had in common was not ‘Great musicians kicking the bucket at 27’.

It was Substance Abuse. It was a consequence of Fame and Money, of a load that most recently Winehouse succumbed to.

It's a lesson in the wake of extreme loss to Music that if someone can help an addict, it is the addict.

Interesting less-known facts about Amy Winehouse:

1. In 2008, final year English Literature students at Cambridge University were asked to analyse lyrics to her song Love Is A Losing Game as part of their end of year examinations in 'Practical Criticism'.

It was like she was born with this beautiful song in her heart. It is so simple and magically striking. And the words just blow you away!

Excess created by Guy Portelli on Amy Winehouse

2. Excess, a piece, created by Guy Portelli, had a miniature of the singer lying on top of a cracked champagne bottle, with a pool of spilled liquid underneath. The body was covered with what appeared to be tiny pills, while one outstretched hand held a glass.

3. A wax sculpture of Winehouse went on display at the London Madame Tussauds on 23 July 2008.

Exactly 3 years later she passed away. On the same day. 23 July, 3 years after the unveiling. Quite uncanny.

Art gone too far? "The Only Good Rock Star Is a Dead Rock Star"

4. A sculpture by Marco Perego, entitled "The Only Good Rock Star Is a Dead Rock Star", that depicts Winehouse lying in a pool of blood with an apple and a bullet hole in her head after being shot. Perego said of the sculpture "Rock stars are the sacrificial animals of society."

My take- An art gone too far!

Photograph personally taken by Bryan Adams

5. In 2007, Bryan Adams wrote a song ‘Flower Grown Wild’ in which he warns Amy that she's flirting with death. An excerpt:

“Nobody saw the tears in your silk n' lace; or the scarred little kid behind your face

Just another little pretty thing; another angel with a broken wing”

Later that year, he photographed the beehived star for Hear the World, a non-profit organization meant to raise awareness about hearing impairment.

Even Bollywood paid Tributes to her.

Farhan Akhtar shared a thought by the singer. '"I burn my candle at both ends, it will not last the night, but ah my foes and oh my friends, it gives a lovely light." RIP Amy Winehouse,' he wrote.

Music composer Vishal Dadlani couldn't believe the news. 'Godamn! It is true. she's gone! Amy Winehouse, one of the most unique and mercurial songwriters of our time! God keep her safe! Amy Winehouse, dead at 27. RIP,' he updated.

Hard Kaur wrote: 'R.I.P Amy winehouse..u will be missed :( Back to Black- one of the sickest albums ever and very close to my heart.'

Sonam Kapoor loved Amy's voice. 'Amy winehouse for all the demons you faced I hope you at last have found your peace. I loved your big voice and your music.love & peace,' she updated.

Akshay Kumar seemed upset about her demise. 'I think, 2day many people wish that the talented #AmyWinehouse didnt say "No No No" 2 Rehab. Such a shame to lose sucha young Artist to what the world knew was inevitable #RIPAmyWinehouse,' he updated.

I couldn’t agree more.

Paulo Coelo tweeted the best set of lyric as a tribute - ''So we are history, your shadow covers me/ the sky above a blaze that only lovers see (Amy Winehouse)''

She’s touched hearts and left behind a legacy. Her untamable persona made Back To Black the last song she ever sang! And the sickest record ever!!

Detached herself from a horde of insatiable fans! Left Us deprived of 20 years of good records.

She’s again reigning charts. One last time. Is #1 again in UK and the US.

Her music is immortal. It’s just that She loved her demons more than herself.

Appreciation of her accomplishments will always be haunted by her lost potential.

A music mogul taken away too soon.

But she'll never truly be gone cause have you heard that voice?

Rishi Soni

I've grown up...

Yet another day. Yet another time.

This is what I felt on 25th day of July, 2010. But still took a step forward to actually convert my dream of having a blog by my name into reality. And hence this journey started. I felt quite alienated to this new and vast world. And choosing between 'blogger' and 'wordpress' seemed like a life/death decision. Fiddled, learnt and hence eureka!!!!

Let me scratch my mind a little and rewind the time, dating back to the previous year. Looking back has never been this beautiful until it concerned Euphoria. I read somewhere: 'Dreams don't come cheap'. Well, it might sound kiddish but having a blog was actually one of my dreams. To have a space where I could pen down my thoughts and write as 'I' want to. And what is better than people following you to read what you actually have to say?! I may not be the original thinker but yes, I am an original listener. So as I listened, I wrote. I wrote, wrote and wrote. And here I am. :) This Euphoria absorbed my observations like a beautiful and welcoming sponge. And as the sponge absorbs and grows, so did Euphoria. It slowly and gradually became the primary outlet for my self-expression.

MF Hussain once said, "When I begin to paint, I hold the sky in my hands as the stretch of my canvas is unknown to me." And believe me, the moment Euphoria was born, I had no clue how to go about it. What to write, how to write and when to write. But, I tell you, this space is infectious. The moment I click on 'New Post' button I feel like stepping into a vast field with no treasure map in my hand. When I start writing, my fingers press the desired keys automatically. And my thoughts actually get converted into words. Awesome.

Moving on, I would quote another saying by yet another amazing man, George Eliot, "It's never too late to be who you might have been". I associate this with the 'Best Blog in Personal Category' accolade. I could have never imagined in my wildest dreams to participate and My Euphoria to actually win it too.

God has really been great. The journey has really been awesome and this flashback makes me fill up with pride. And hence I proudly say that My Euphoria is one year old now. Cheers!! \m/

When Pictures Speak

Finally my hiatus is over and Euphoria has pulled me back into its pool full of bliss and verve. The satisfaction I get after spending a few sole-me-and-euphoria moments is simply incomparable. Well, it should have been an utterly euphoric post because I somewhere heard that when we bounce back to life/activity/love/person, we tend to bounce with an increased amplitude but I'll keep this one a little plain and bare.

Colourful pictures attract me like a moth to oil. Thus, I let a few pictures talk for me this time.

A look back: 

Paint your life your way

I have had some of the moments when my heart was actually doing somersaults. Some real ups and downs. Sometimes, a sudden gush of nostalgia or blue struck me. And trust me, it's not much fun. But from the so many shades of colours, let's remember just the bright ones. Believe me, life is really awesome. :)

  

Choose what you want
Absolutely. But it depends on you, whether you want to count those thousand things and be overwhelmed with gratitude and joy, or sit back and pick up the few imperfections and problems, and magnify them and go on and rant about them. The choice is yours - be thankful and happy, or cynical and gloomy. It is completely up to you to open which ever envelope you want to. :)

Simplicity is Beautiful
Yes. Whether it is in how your dress or look, or more importantly in how you live. Complicating everything is neither fun, nor does it solve problems. Let go of your barriers and express what you actually want to. Be bare. Be truthful. Keep things simple, be beautiful and live beautifully.

Tuesdays With Morrie
I read an utterly beautiful book in a past few days. I have specially chosen the adjective, beautiful, to describe it because of the way Mitch Albom has compiled it. I ended up noting down a great number of precious words by Morrie, his professor who is on death bed. They have very beautifully discussed every topic under the sun. From jealousy and attachment to love and family.

 
Follow your heart
It is definitely your life and you will responsible for it. 40 years down the line, when you'll be looking back at your life. No parents' taunts, no friends' remark is going to the death bed with you. Make your life worthwhile so that when you look back, it is always a beautiful landscape ready for you. Drop your fears. Identify your passion. Introspect. Follow your dreams. Explore. Most importantly, Fall and RISE.

Woah!

"Perfection is paralytic"
Well, ever since I got the batch of 'Best Blog' courtesy blogjunta.com, the frequency with which I catch up with Euphoria has drastically/exponentially decreased. Yeah, I admit-I miss blogging now!

Every now and then, I get the feeling that something’s stirring in my mind, somewhere at the back of it and I badly want to put it into words, but just can’t form the whole picture and hence procrastination comes into play. May be for this reason I've found a new love for Google. It is never confused and surely does display the results whenever we put any keyword in its search bar. (Try Googl-ing 'confusion'.)

I'll keep this post pretty short. Let it be a jinx-breaker. Wrapping it up by putting a beautiful picture that I came across and to which everyone of us may be able to relate. Followed by a more beautiful quote from my diary. :)

"Sometimes life is very mean. A person can spend days, weeks, months and years without feeling anything new. Then when a door opens, a positive avalanche pours in. One moment, you have nothing, the next, you have more than you can cope with."

Irk and Smirk

The scattering scenes flashed,

Of all the dreams that were crashed,

Pictured all the moments that were snatched.





Brusque was the butchering,

The pieces failed to be put together even after lot of panicking.

The catastrophic past still remains the reason,

For eyes becoming moist, heart and soul crying in unison.





The trauma still speaks out aloud,

With some impromptu occurrences still rendering me speechless,

When I'm left with something that remains unseen to the crowd.

The memories mar my mind, with convulsions making me senseless.





The betrayal had such an impact on the mind,

Insecurity and fear were available in every kind.





Rebuilding the world with a bond and a lifeline called hope,

Triumphal phoenix rose, trying to cope.

The first flush of exultation was actually a paradox,

To rise and live again was taught by a coax.





Attachment and emotions were put on a trial,

Who knew that the euphoria was to last only for a while.

The sheer stab on trust and it was all over.

The eyes again became moist which once used to rover.





Thinking and wondering, I began to hum and haw,

Because present painted the same fresco what in past I saw.

Leave behind the clutches and live with no strings attached,

You own no one, put it in your mind scratched!

Panorama

Well, the title to this post had be pre-decided a week ago when I had absolutely no idea that what this post would be about. But I guess the start to my week has been grateful enough to lend it its contents.

From opening the eyes and engulfing the first ray of the sun for the day to shutting the eyes absorbing all the rays of the day, so entangled in our mesh of thoughts! From fighting to tick all the bullets of to-do lists to finding ever so useless answers the common childhood exam questions which no longer are awarded marks in our real life - 'Who said to whom?'. Amongst everything, we just fail to realize the old-age inevitable truth of all times, 'Life is unpredictable'. So whimsical and fickle. And that so is true. Using all these adjectives here, I don't mean that life has surprises and shocks to offer but today look at it with another perspective. You never know when it offers you the biggest surprise and shock, an oxymoron of all times, plan your meeting with the dreaded dragon of 'Death'. What might pain more is when you see this, keeping your loved ones as the subject. I guess, losing them would be more painful! How selfless, no? One person leaves the world, he forces millions of other people to lose a part of themselves with him. The unending cries, the unforgettable moments, the umpteenth memories, these are all what you are left with. And after all, closer to heart are all those feelings that we try to repress and forget. If we're far away from the person we love and miss, everyone we pass in street reminds us of them. But still, knowing all this, we can never 'prepare' ourselves for the inevitable. Can we? Even the person on the death bed is consoled by the doctor by showing him a ray of hope, a ray of life. The endless prayers that the family members and friends keeping on doing and chanting so as to do simply anything in the world but to save him. It so is the irony and agony of life. But the leash of the dragon is only controlled by 'One'. All efforts and tries may just fade away giving way to the ocean of endless sadness and just the memories to live and cope with. All the calls that were cut so as to attend to them later on, all the meetings left unattended, all the words left unspoken, all the deeds undone will so remain like that and forever.

We might say numerous things, be brave like anything to fight the whole world but still this mortality of life is something which can even make the most powerful person to bow down in front of it. Leave behind all the tiny grudges. Feel yourself to be so lucky to have your loved ones still around you. To love you and to be loved. Love more people than the number of them you hate, life would surely be better and panorama of a perfect life is what you'll experience and adore!

P.S.-What the eyes don't see, the heart doesn't grieve over.

Musings and Jottings

'Really important meetings are planned by the souls long before the bodies see each other.

Generally speaking, these meetings occur when we reach a limit, when we need to die and be reborn emotionally'

Words really fascinate me. Specially the words which bead themselves into some unique sentences that form an image in my mind. The image to which I can relate an entire phase of my life. There is some point in life when everything seems not working yet life appears to be smooth. Imagine a cliché situation: 'You meet someone. You become friends. You don't even realize when you people get along so well that each one of you becomes an integral part of each other's life.'

Happens with almost everyone. But does everyone actually realize the real maze of these special meetings? I don't think so. The real clarity of life comes when we pay heed to such small happenings of our life. It's like some guests come in your life, stay there, make their presence felt, alter your thinking in their own subtle way. It can't be explained. It just occurs. You don't really need to think about how to do it or so, because it will occur automatically, if you just streamline your thoughts in a particular direction. And I really believe so. You won't even come to know when your thoughts may turn themselves into reality. So always thank God for 'that accidental' tryst with such people in your life. As it goes: Life always waits for some crisis to occur before revealing itself at its most brilliant.

P.S.- It's good to be confused sometimes.

*Back to Pavilion*

High! Happy New Year, Euphoria! :) May each of the reader has a scintillating 2-0-1-1, full of euphoria like never before. :) Anyway, I gave a kick start to my new year in dilwalon ki Dilli! :) Forget marijuana, just the mere feel of being in that city gives you a high! Whao! :)

The visit to Adventure Island is what I'd like to describe. God!!! That was one heck of fun time that we had over there. It was so awesome to be a child again. The goosebumps when the most dangerous ride there would just turn you upside down at the highest point and keep you there for like 15 seconds. I tell you!! Those 15 seconds were like breath-taking and mind-shifting. All I could think of at one moment was just one thing, what if this belt broke open! And the other moment I was like, I'm surely going to take this ride again. :p Further, the bowling session at GIP, Noida was one thing that I'll never forget. No matter how much lighter ball I might choose, that useless ball still kept on sliding onto the side rails. What the hell! x( Still, the fun I had could not be compared to anything! :)

"Fogged" UCoE

So after all the spicy Dilli ki masti, I was back!! And hence started the college. Thick fog, zero visibility are some of the keywords that I'll pick up if I plan to describe the panorama. The sheer thought of that day elevates my thoughts and puts me in a wonderful mood. And a perfect long walk on that perfect same road on a perfect chilly day, what a feel! :) As none of my friends had arrived yet so I carried on with my fun, photography! ;) Captured the view of college building in this "new year". :p Nothing was visible but it was fun. Then moving on further here I was, to give yet another semester, a kick start. Music gave me a nice company. And rather that was the only thing that was helping me to keep the positivity and smile on. Because I knew, as time would pass, in spite of we having our time tables, no classes and stuff would be there. And as a result, I'd be bugged up as shit!

One hour passed and still my position as per some geostationary satellite spotting me from outer space wouldn't have changed even a single bit. :D

And hence I was back to pavilion! :D

P.S.- Patiala has made me a smoker. Courtesy: Fog! :D

~Strings Attached~

With just a few days past Christmas and New Year around the corner, everybody is busy jotting down their so-called 'New-Year Resolutions'. But what is all this hype about? Do we really keep a track of them? Or do they become just another to-do list pinned up on the soft board of your room? Well, as per me, I'm too lazy to think of any resolutions. Left behind accomplishing them!! :D Frankly there isn't a tad excitement about new year except that I'll have to replace a 'zero' with 'one' as I'll write the date next year. That'll be the only change and the only difference. :) And I think this will be the last time I'll be catching up with my blog this year until and unless I have got something really exciting to pen down.



Anyway, so as per the title of the post this time, let me get onto the point. With winters vacations on and everyone lazing around miles away from college, I've got no plans for any vacation. And it's good to be home, for a change. With most of my friends chilling around and enjoying thoroughly at their respective vacation spots, spread over the entire India, it's awesome to be in touch with them. The constant calls and texts from them give me the feeling that they still remember me wherever they are. A cliché thing but still it is such a feel-good factor to experience the strings of attachment that we've amongst us.



Bangalore, Mumbai and Goa are the three places that I've visited this winter over the phone! :D My day dawned with the call from my best friend in Bangalore explaining me about the serene ambiance of the Art Of Living Ashram and the activities going on there. The seva done and the hours spent on meditation and yoga. Two hours later, another call from Goa spiced up my day, virtually taking me there to the unbeatable beaches and the colourful place full of party air. Then my friend explained of the French conversation that she had with the French people there. And I tell you! Her excitement was flabbergasting. This energy took a higher flight with the inclusion of wine that her Dad gifted her there. :)  Few hours later, I was in Mumbai, stuck up in the traffic, making my way back home. Not grumbling for the time the car was taking to move slowly and gradually rather happy to be the part of  bole toh Mumbaikar hush-rush!

WOW. Feels so good to travel to so many places! :p Apart from travelling, I've been able to catch up with my reading. With weather being what I totally love, I finished with 'A Thousand Splendid Suns', now I'm onto 'The Alchemist'. :)  Aren't the holidays fun? :)

Bonne Anniversaire!!

Happy Birthday Mom

23rd Décembre : The day when my life's First Lady was born. Cheers to the lady to whom I owe my existence to. My Mom! Happy Birthday Mom! :) Well, isn't it the case with everyone of us? That one lady means the world to each one of us. But for me, she's the only person who deserves, preserves and conserves all the respect in my eyes.

The most awesome feeling in the world is to realize that you are hers as much she is yours. When you are introduced to the outside world by her as, "She is MY Daughter." :) Plus when you know that whatever may be the matter, you will always have her by your side. Isn't this a sufficient blessing from God?

In spite of a single-parent, what she has done, the love given, the traditions inculcated, the bringing up- I simply salute her. :)

No sugar coated words, this one simply goes out for her, I love you Mom! :)

P.S.- Coincidentally I discovered my new love for Ghazals. Mom loves them. So it was in a way a Ghazal day for me! :D

Rich-Wish!!

Eavesdropped a story being discussed in the living room today eve. Can't clearly say that I was touched by it. But yeah, I could rather see a part of each one of us in it. Be it about the family, friends or the world. How everyone tries to carve a niche for himself. And if failing, which form do those wishes take

to come out. Anyways, my views apart, here's the story. Read it and form a view for yourself.

One fine day when students had completed their class work, their teacher gave them a particular task. The students were asked to write a letter to God and mention the things they want. Whatever it may be. Be it shoes, clothes, cars, bungalows or anything. But they had to be specific with it. At the end of the lecture, the teacher collected all the letters. Took them home. Started reviewing all the wishes of the children of her class. Impromp

tu, she started crying reading one of the similar looking but unique letters. Upon being asked by her husband, she let him read the whole letter. It read as follows :

"Dear God,

I just want to be the television of my home. I just want that when Dad comes back from work, he should take out time to be with me. When Mom is angry or sad, she shouldn't sideline me rather be with me to cheer herself up. My brothers and sisters should fight with one another to have my remote and watch me what I am doing. Howsoever, busy anyone in the family might be, but they should rearrange their priorities and find some time of their day to be with just-me, listen carefully to what I say, see what I do, laugh at my silly acts, enjoy my company."

Reading this, her husband just drops the letter on the table, commenting, "Oh, pity that child! What kind of parents does he have?" And he walks away. The wife says, "It's our child's."