The other side of me.

A feel-good comment on my facebook profile picture just triggered the little girl in me to write this blogpost. With two thousand and eleven coming to an end, celebration and euphoria is in the air. But I happen to be at the opposite end of see-saw of this swing. My four years long association with the Alma mater, my graduation college just came to an end and the feeling has still not sunk in. And with six months long internship lying in front of me, the surprising world yet to be explored, frankly, I'm all nerves. Does that mean I'm not so adaptable to change? Well, let my future introspection session decide that.

Introspection! As I'm getting way too much free time as of now, introspection is quite frequent. Mostly the few moments of solitude that I usually experience before just falling asleep. Or when I wake up in the middle of the night with my eyes hovering around, my brain numb, I tend to sink inwards and think about numerous random things. This always yields a few surprises for me because it is simply mind boggling to see what all incidents and flashbacks from my life have occupied a part of my subconscious. Being a Gemini, true to the core, I have multiple personalities. Two striking personalities swap way too soon, sometimes putting me in confusion too. My alter ego is what always masks my original self and has always been taking almost everyone for a ride. Not intentionally but naturally.

Going back to the starting of the blog while keeping in mind what I just mentioned, my personality i.e. my alter ego, what everyone witnesses usually is full of life (that was the comment on my facebook profile picture), outgoing and what not. But the natural self which comes out rarely and in front of rare people is a silly little scared girl who is always thinking way too much and searching for her cocoon almost everywhere and in almost every situation. Yes, it IS confusing for me too. When things don't go according to me, general tendency of my alter ego is to exude the different and a wide array of cusses that I've recently learnt and registered in my mind. But my original self shrinks, inside, way too much to an unmentionable size and alienate almost from everyone, simply to not let anyone reach there. And what needs to escape me from there is a simple heart-to-heart talk with someone or something exciting to provide me with a whiff of fresh air and escape me from that shell I make for myself, way too soon.

With so many people around me to love me, I still withdraw and cut-off myself way too soon. Though it doesn't yield any solution but I guess, I feel secure in my own tiny shell. I sulk, I think, I introspect, form notions in this tiny space of mine. But all this goes according to what I want. And that's what keeps me satisfied and happy in this shell. The privacy of my mind. But long twenty one years and I still haven't been able to kick that side of me and let my alter ego overlap my original self. Difficult.

Not-so-good.

Ah! It's December already. The year end. As I write this, 'year end', I have a satisfied smile on my face as 2011 will finally be over and 2012 will bring new hopes, new wishes and a fresh euphoria to deal with it all. Looking back, 2011 hasn't been a very fair year, specially the later half of the year. Courtesy the new health problem on family front. Hospitals and doctors were the two things that decided our smiles, our sigh-of-relief-s and definitely shadowed most of the part of our daily prayers. Sad but true. Keeping up with all these tiny-winy problems, I saw the strong family bond emerging from in between that was always and every time there but somehow went unnoticed. And again as the cliche fact goes that it is indeed the most difficult and painful thing to see your loved ones in pain. It was a heavy and painful year for indeed each member of the family with still no respite from it.

Medicines, injections, needles, prescriptions, test reports, cotton swabs filled with spirit made my house more of a hospital. It was horrifying to witness it. The way the particular nerve is searched, applied spirit on and then a needle piercing that nerve filling the whole body with some strong antibiotic that we all had plunged our hopes on, that THIS may finally work. That completely shook me as I was sitting besides my Massi who was the brave soul going through all this.

The unbearable pain. The wailing noises. The thousands of tears. The millions of prayers. This is what my family went through in the past few months. All this was so much intensified that we all almost forgot all the good things that happened in each one of our lives. The good things that we remember are how many times doctors said, 'operation was successful', 'she's doing better now', 'this new medicine seems to work' or 'she will be discharged in a few days'. Phew. The definition of 'good' changes with time. I wonder how. And I wonder why.

And the problem is still not over. I just hope and pray that everything falls back into place by mid-December and we all bid a happy goodbye to the heavy year 2011.

I guess this has been the most bare post in recent times with my fingers pressing the exact keys as my heart telling them to and not the brain for a change. And I'm liking it. Wish I have some pretty angels near me sitting and reading this post and thinking of blessing my family a little. How I wish.

I'm Back!

As I read my last blog post, I definitely slip into the lane of nostalgia. So much has changed in these 3 months. So many things happened at home front, personal front and academically too. And the moment something unique happened in my life or as I crossed another milestone of my life, the first thing that my mind prompted was ,"Wow, I'll mention it on Euphoria". But damn those one or the other engagements which end up preoccupying your mind, leaving a very little time for things you love to indulge yourself in.

Anyway, one main milestone that I completed on 7th of September was my placement. I got placed with Infosys! Yay! Will talk about it in coming up entries.

So, as today is 14th of November, synonymous with Children's Day. And with every other page on facebook advising you to let the child within you never die, I'll try and list some childlike reasons which help me stay euphoric and upbeat in my life. So many people talk about the abstract things that give us happiness. Yes, true. But I have some more weird, kiddish and silly reasons. These are the few reasons to love being alive. 

I caught Rockstar's first day, first show. And believe me, the songs of the movie are superawesome. They have been on repeat ever since. The soulful and meaningful songs A.R. Rehman has composed, *BOWS*. Not just these, I seriously wonder the power of songs. They help you create another world and take you to some other galaxy where everything remains so beautiful and meaningful in your own way.



Next one in my list would be Winter! Wow. The chilly breeze, the fogs, the scent of the winter season, I just happen to love it all. With winter beginning to set in, it's just lovely put on your pullover and plug in the headphones and go for a long walk. Mesmerizing. Truly. Winters are indeed the best reason to include a stroll in your schedule. How i wish we had snowfalls in winters. *sigh*

Mmm. The smell of new books. WOW. I'd like to mention this because I recently ordered a few books from Flipkart. I always like to see the bookshelf ,at the back of my bed, full. It is definitely a pleasurable sight. New books, undoubtedly, have their own charm. I'd love to get lost in a unique kind of world each book carries with itself.


Phew. I'm tired for now. Will continue putting these reasons to love being alive in the next post. Adois! :)

Rollercoaster

With the monsoon making its presence actually felt for the first time this summers, it is a picturesque view outside. This picturesque view is all the more beautified when I'm sitting outside my room. With raindrops caressing my feet and their melody creating a beautiful song in itself, there is no better treat in store for me.

I thought of writing something else. But I guess this rain has a plan to change everything. And so did it change my idea of blogpost this wonderful evening. Here is what I have to share today!

There is a roller coaster that we take a ride of. Every now and then. Emotions. Love, attachment, attraction, bliss, to name a few. The most common mistake that we all do is to associate these emotions to some person. Everytime the person changes, we tend to change our so-called definition of that very emotion, which in itself is no less than a sin. Then these emotions change to sadness, jealousy, hatred, sorry-for-yourself or regret. It is all a part of growing up. 

If you experience the first set of emotions that I mentioned, cherish them. Fall in love, get attached to someone who can value it, get beautifully attracted to someone, experience bliss. Enjoy the beauty of each emotion.  

On the other hand, if you tend to experience the other set of emotions that I mentioned then learn to detach yourself from them. Take a dip in the pool of sadness once but come out of it with a greater amplitude. Jealousy! Yes, if you experience jealousy towards someone, then I have a beautiful quote for you to overcome it. Say this to yourself, "How can I be envious of where you now are, when I've already been there myself?" 

Next in line is hatred. If you wish to hate someone, you just rot yourself by hating (read thinking about) them. You don't let their thoughts and deeds go away from you. Hence they stay the closest to your heart when they should be the farthest. Don't keep this hatred towards them as your pet. Don't feed your thoughts to it and wait for it to grow healthier. No! It will only grow dirtier.

Last in the list is sorry-for-yourself. The most common and most frequent. You are special and you are important. I'd just say one thing, learn to value yourself!

  Don't bother even if you fail in following any of these. FORGIVE YOURSELF. To err is human! And there's always a next time. There is always a learning from something and there is always a purpose of every person in your life. And not to be forgotten, its the darker shade that makes light really bright. Yes, people do change. But just don't hold back on these emotions. What if we don't allow our self to go all the way through them, we can never get to be detached from them. Just because we are too busy being afraid. Dive in through these emotions, experience them and then detach yourself from them. 

And above all, try and not associate these emotions just to one person. At least don't butcher the definition of love/hatred just for the heck of one person. Do yourself this favour! Chin up, smile! Beautiful! :)

Back to Black

"Maybe death is the great equalizer, the one big thing that can finally make strangers shed a tear for one another"- Tuesdays With Morrie

The first ever Guest-blog by a friend and a true Amy Winehouse fan. Happy Reading! :)

One of my favorite teachers always ridiculed me for my weird fascination with troubled pop tarts. Amy Jade Winehouse was a newbie to crack into the list. And soon she outshone many.

With a voice that was filled with such power and pain that it was at once entirely human yet laced with the divine. That enveloped vulnerability and also displayed her fiery persona at the same time.

I remember earning scorn from my friends and braving blows urging me to “shut the wailing bitch up or die.” But I never capitulated and now they ended up shedding a tear at her demise.

My niece made a beautiful Diary on Amy Winehouse that she completed just 2 days before she heard that Amy died. All glum, she rang me up and squeaked “So no more music coming from her?”

Wino did have an impact.

Her delicious first jazz-influenced venture “Frank” was soon overshadowed by her sophomore record that led to her meteoric rise to fame and also helped her find and wondrously display her 'voice'. ''Back to Black'' catapulted her to super stardom, a record amalgamating rock, pop, soul, ska (of which little is left) all in one. It also won her the ''biggie'' Record of the Year at 2008 Grammy Awards.

Her throaty-sultry vocals only added to the charm but her lyric is what I had a penchant for, what always engrossed me, intrigued me. Every word she put was deeply thought over (look up for Wake Up Alone & Some Unholy War). Her songwriting stays nonpareil. Was so dark and uncannily mirrored the fact that she knew she wouldn't hold on to life for long. She saw it coming!

She really lived the blues. She poured her ache through her songs. An unbridled fountain of pain that she masked through her songwriting! I feel as if her songs had more wisdom than she!

And Rehab happened! Breaking into the Top10 in the States. A feat that paved path for the ''big voice'' artists ruling the charts currently. It won her 4 Grammys.

Rehab that has become an anthem for the troubled, echoed her defiance projecting heartbreak, a craving to be adored and also how drinking replaced Love in her life.

Stubborn as a mule and fierce, She lived on her own terms- uncontrolled, rebellious and untamed. Her body art and her alcoholic logic only cement that. How at her every live performance she never eschewed having more than just a drink and mockingly said “It's my gig, no one can have me doing what I don’t want.”

There is no way u can mellow a Lioness. (which is exactly what she coined her own label 'Lioness Record Label')

Unveling at Madame Tussauds @ London on 23rd July 2008- exactly 3 years before her death date, 23rd July 2011.

Her songs, extremely dark, boast of sex, drugs, drinking and of being lovesick. How beautifully she used expletives in bluesy retro-soul tunes! Fearlessly hilarious. Supremely drunk on pride.

They ooze ache, mirror her heartpour; her lyric was impeccably honest and autobiographical. Humorously honest. Enchanting!

She was utterly hardcore. Thoroughly enjoyable. And not mere tabloid fodder. She was a muse! She glorified being inebriated but even her tipsy performances were pitch-perfect. She never stooped so low as pop acts today to sell her talent. She was too much talent, all raw; that never required Autotune, or publicity gimmicks. Maybe that's why she wasn't as famous but those who knew her were well acquainted with the talent that she housed!

She may have topped polls in 'The worst dressed' and 'The most hated in UK' but that never eclipsed her talent. Her 'sound' spoke volumes.

How she has managed to carve an impression with a slim set of music she offered and with only half a decade into prominence.

Her best came out with Mark Ronson: Rehab, Tears Dry On Their Own, Wake Up alone, Love Is A Losing Game and You Know I’m Know Good!! All recommended.

And her cover of the Zuton's Valerie is such a good track to wake up to. How she made it her own.

Talking about drugs she sang on Addicted:

'It's got me addicted, does more than any dick did'

Quite a statement in itself.

And she does heartbreak so good on the track 'Back To Black' that it even made Barkha Dutt exclaim “She wasn't my generation of music, but how I LOVED back to black.”

A lyric in which she is in a funeral ceremony that bids her broken heart adieu.

“U went back to what u knew,

so far removed from all that we've been through,

And I tread a troubled track,

My odds are stacked and I go back to black'

And about falling out of love on Tears Dry On Their Own so cockily

“We could have never had it all,

We had to hit a wall,

so this is the inevitable withdrawl,

I can not blame myself again,

I shud just be my own best friend,

Not fuck myself in the head with stupid men”

And she craved for love, dismissing the whole idea at the same time in the gorgeous Love Is A Losing Game. It leaves an ever-lingering effect and makes you to break into a reverie.

“Though i'd better blind,

Love is a fate resigned.

Memories mar my mind,

Love is a fate resigned.

Over futile odds,

Laughed at by the gods.

And now the final frame,

Love is a losing game”

About her wandering eye on the You Know I’m No Good- the chorus of which seems so befitting to what everyone expected of her:

“I cheated myself like I knew I would,

I told you I was trouble, You know i'm no good”

A death foretold?

The Rolling Stones Mick Jagger opined “I fear Amy Winehouse might die” after performing with her at the IOW festival, 2008. A gamut of famous people echoed the same. There was also a website launched back in 2007 christened 'whenwillamywinehousedie.com' which urged users to book a date for the inevitable. And the 4 winners who had their luck with the prophecy were gifted an Ipod Touch! Cold!

Everyone was right. It all spiraled down. Her mortal coil undid itself way too soon.

Her mother’s reaction to her death was just as shocking- “It was only a matter of time, she seemed out of it.” And her father had written a eulogy for her back in 2007 after she had a seizure and was rushed to a hospital.

After passing, she joined the likes of Nirvana's Kurt Cobain, Janis Joplin, Robert Johnson and Jimi Hendrix. The Club “27 Forever”.

A club, according to me, lionized for all the wrong reasons. People fail to understand that what Kurt, Janis, Jimi and Amy had in common was not ‘Great musicians kicking the bucket at 27’.

It was Substance Abuse. It was a consequence of Fame and Money, of a load that most recently Winehouse succumbed to.

It's a lesson in the wake of extreme loss to Music that if someone can help an addict, it is the addict.

Interesting less-known facts about Amy Winehouse:

1. In 2008, final year English Literature students at Cambridge University were asked to analyse lyrics to her song Love Is A Losing Game as part of their end of year examinations in 'Practical Criticism'.

It was like she was born with this beautiful song in her heart. It is so simple and magically striking. And the words just blow you away!

Excess created by Guy Portelli on Amy Winehouse

2. Excess, a piece, created by Guy Portelli, had a miniature of the singer lying on top of a cracked champagne bottle, with a pool of spilled liquid underneath. The body was covered with what appeared to be tiny pills, while one outstretched hand held a glass.

3. A wax sculpture of Winehouse went on display at the London Madame Tussauds on 23 July 2008.

Exactly 3 years later she passed away. On the same day. 23 July, 3 years after the unveiling. Quite uncanny.

Art gone too far? "The Only Good Rock Star Is a Dead Rock Star"

4. A sculpture by Marco Perego, entitled "The Only Good Rock Star Is a Dead Rock Star", that depicts Winehouse lying in a pool of blood with an apple and a bullet hole in her head after being shot. Perego said of the sculpture "Rock stars are the sacrificial animals of society."

My take- An art gone too far!

Photograph personally taken by Bryan Adams

5. In 2007, Bryan Adams wrote a song ‘Flower Grown Wild’ in which he warns Amy that she's flirting with death. An excerpt:

“Nobody saw the tears in your silk n' lace; or the scarred little kid behind your face

Just another little pretty thing; another angel with a broken wing”

Later that year, he photographed the beehived star for Hear the World, a non-profit organization meant to raise awareness about hearing impairment.

Even Bollywood paid Tributes to her.

Farhan Akhtar shared a thought by the singer. '"I burn my candle at both ends, it will not last the night, but ah my foes and oh my friends, it gives a lovely light." RIP Amy Winehouse,' he wrote.

Music composer Vishal Dadlani couldn't believe the news. 'Godamn! It is true. she's gone! Amy Winehouse, one of the most unique and mercurial songwriters of our time! God keep her safe! Amy Winehouse, dead at 27. RIP,' he updated.

Hard Kaur wrote: 'R.I.P Amy winehouse..u will be missed :( Back to Black- one of the sickest albums ever and very close to my heart.'

Sonam Kapoor loved Amy's voice. 'Amy winehouse for all the demons you faced I hope you at last have found your peace. I loved your big voice and your music.love & peace,' she updated.

Akshay Kumar seemed upset about her demise. 'I think, 2day many people wish that the talented #AmyWinehouse didnt say "No No No" 2 Rehab. Such a shame to lose sucha young Artist to what the world knew was inevitable #RIPAmyWinehouse,' he updated.

I couldn’t agree more.

Paulo Coelo tweeted the best set of lyric as a tribute - ''So we are history, your shadow covers me/ the sky above a blaze that only lovers see (Amy Winehouse)''

She’s touched hearts and left behind a legacy. Her untamable persona made Back To Black the last song she ever sang! And the sickest record ever!!

Detached herself from a horde of insatiable fans! Left Us deprived of 20 years of good records.

She’s again reigning charts. One last time. Is #1 again in UK and the US.

Her music is immortal. It’s just that She loved her demons more than herself.

Appreciation of her accomplishments will always be haunted by her lost potential.

A music mogul taken away too soon.

But she'll never truly be gone cause have you heard that voice?

Rishi Soni

I've grown up...

Yet another day. Yet another time.

This is what I felt on 25th day of July, 2010. But still took a step forward to actually convert my dream of having a blog by my name into reality. And hence this journey started. I felt quite alienated to this new and vast world. And choosing between 'blogger' and 'wordpress' seemed like a life/death decision. Fiddled, learnt and hence eureka!!!!

Let me scratch my mind a little and rewind the time, dating back to the previous year. Looking back has never been this beautiful until it concerned Euphoria. I read somewhere: 'Dreams don't come cheap'. Well, it might sound kiddish but having a blog was actually one of my dreams. To have a space where I could pen down my thoughts and write as 'I' want to. And what is better than people following you to read what you actually have to say?! I may not be the original thinker but yes, I am an original listener. So as I listened, I wrote. I wrote, wrote and wrote. And here I am. :) This Euphoria absorbed my observations like a beautiful and welcoming sponge. And as the sponge absorbs and grows, so did Euphoria. It slowly and gradually became the primary outlet for my self-expression.

MF Hussain once said, "When I begin to paint, I hold the sky in my hands as the stretch of my canvas is unknown to me." And believe me, the moment Euphoria was born, I had no clue how to go about it. What to write, how to write and when to write. But, I tell you, this space is infectious. The moment I click on 'New Post' button I feel like stepping into a vast field with no treasure map in my hand. When I start writing, my fingers press the desired keys automatically. And my thoughts actually get converted into words. Awesome.

Moving on, I would quote another saying by yet another amazing man, George Eliot, "It's never too late to be who you might have been". I associate this with the 'Best Blog in Personal Category' accolade. I could have never imagined in my wildest dreams to participate and My Euphoria to actually win it too.

God has really been great. The journey has really been awesome and this flashback makes me fill up with pride. And hence I proudly say that My Euphoria is one year old now. Cheers!! \m/

When Pictures Speak

Finally my hiatus is over and Euphoria has pulled me back into its pool full of bliss and verve. The satisfaction I get after spending a few sole-me-and-euphoria moments is simply incomparable. Well, it should have been an utterly euphoric post because I somewhere heard that when we bounce back to life/activity/love/person, we tend to bounce with an increased amplitude but I'll keep this one a little plain and bare.

Colourful pictures attract me like a moth to oil. Thus, I let a few pictures talk for me this time.

A look back: 

Paint your life your way

I have had some of the moments when my heart was actually doing somersaults. Some real ups and downs. Sometimes, a sudden gush of nostalgia or blue struck me. And trust me, it's not much fun. But from the so many shades of colours, let's remember just the bright ones. Believe me, life is really awesome. :)

  

Choose what you want
Absolutely. But it depends on you, whether you want to count those thousand things and be overwhelmed with gratitude and joy, or sit back and pick up the few imperfections and problems, and magnify them and go on and rant about them. The choice is yours - be thankful and happy, or cynical and gloomy. It is completely up to you to open which ever envelope you want to. :)

Simplicity is Beautiful
Yes. Whether it is in how your dress or look, or more importantly in how you live. Complicating everything is neither fun, nor does it solve problems. Let go of your barriers and express what you actually want to. Be bare. Be truthful. Keep things simple, be beautiful and live beautifully.

Tuesdays With Morrie
I read an utterly beautiful book in a past few days. I have specially chosen the adjective, beautiful, to describe it because of the way Mitch Albom has compiled it. I ended up noting down a great number of precious words by Morrie, his professor who is on death bed. They have very beautifully discussed every topic under the sun. From jealousy and attachment to love and family.

 
Follow your heart
It is definitely your life and you will responsible for it. 40 years down the line, when you'll be looking back at your life. No parents' taunts, no friends' remark is going to the death bed with you. Make your life worthwhile so that when you look back, it is always a beautiful landscape ready for you. Drop your fears. Identify your passion. Introspect. Follow your dreams. Explore. Most importantly, Fall and RISE.

Woah!

"Perfection is paralytic"
Well, ever since I got the batch of 'Best Blog' courtesy blogjunta.com, the frequency with which I catch up with Euphoria has drastically/exponentially decreased. Yeah, I admit-I miss blogging now!

Every now and then, I get the feeling that something’s stirring in my mind, somewhere at the back of it and I badly want to put it into words, but just can’t form the whole picture and hence procrastination comes into play. May be for this reason I've found a new love for Google. It is never confused and surely does display the results whenever we put any keyword in its search bar. (Try Googl-ing 'confusion'.)

I'll keep this post pretty short. Let it be a jinx-breaker. Wrapping it up by putting a beautiful picture that I came across and to which everyone of us may be able to relate. Followed by a more beautiful quote from my diary. :)

"Sometimes life is very mean. A person can spend days, weeks, months and years without feeling anything new. Then when a door opens, a positive avalanche pours in. One moment, you have nothing, the next, you have more than you can cope with."

Irk and Smirk

The scattering scenes flashed,

Of all the dreams that were crashed,

Pictured all the moments that were snatched.





Brusque was the butchering,

The pieces failed to be put together even after lot of panicking.

The catastrophic past still remains the reason,

For eyes becoming moist, heart and soul crying in unison.





The trauma still speaks out aloud,

With some impromptu occurrences still rendering me speechless,

When I'm left with something that remains unseen to the crowd.

The memories mar my mind, with convulsions making me senseless.





The betrayal had such an impact on the mind,

Insecurity and fear were available in every kind.





Rebuilding the world with a bond and a lifeline called hope,

Triumphal phoenix rose, trying to cope.

The first flush of exultation was actually a paradox,

To rise and live again was taught by a coax.





Attachment and emotions were put on a trial,

Who knew that the euphoria was to last only for a while.

The sheer stab on trust and it was all over.

The eyes again became moist which once used to rover.





Thinking and wondering, I began to hum and haw,

Because present painted the same fresco what in past I saw.

Leave behind the clutches and live with no strings attached,

You own no one, put it in your mind scratched!

Panorama

Well, the title to this post had be pre-decided a week ago when I had absolutely no idea that what this post would be about. But I guess the start to my week has been grateful enough to lend it its contents.

From opening the eyes and engulfing the first ray of the sun for the day to shutting the eyes absorbing all the rays of the day, so entangled in our mesh of thoughts! From fighting to tick all the bullets of to-do lists to finding ever so useless answers the common childhood exam questions which no longer are awarded marks in our real life - 'Who said to whom?'. Amongst everything, we just fail to realize the old-age inevitable truth of all times, 'Life is unpredictable'. So whimsical and fickle. And that so is true. Using all these adjectives here, I don't mean that life has surprises and shocks to offer but today look at it with another perspective. You never know when it offers you the biggest surprise and shock, an oxymoron of all times, plan your meeting with the dreaded dragon of 'Death'. What might pain more is when you see this, keeping your loved ones as the subject. I guess, losing them would be more painful! How selfless, no? One person leaves the world, he forces millions of other people to lose a part of themselves with him. The unending cries, the unforgettable moments, the umpteenth memories, these are all what you are left with. And after all, closer to heart are all those feelings that we try to repress and forget. If we're far away from the person we love and miss, everyone we pass in street reminds us of them. But still, knowing all this, we can never 'prepare' ourselves for the inevitable. Can we? Even the person on the death bed is consoled by the doctor by showing him a ray of hope, a ray of life. The endless prayers that the family members and friends keeping on doing and chanting so as to do simply anything in the world but to save him. It so is the irony and agony of life. But the leash of the dragon is only controlled by 'One'. All efforts and tries may just fade away giving way to the ocean of endless sadness and just the memories to live and cope with. All the calls that were cut so as to attend to them later on, all the meetings left unattended, all the words left unspoken, all the deeds undone will so remain like that and forever.

We might say numerous things, be brave like anything to fight the whole world but still this mortality of life is something which can even make the most powerful person to bow down in front of it. Leave behind all the tiny grudges. Feel yourself to be so lucky to have your loved ones still around you. To love you and to be loved. Love more people than the number of them you hate, life would surely be better and panorama of a perfect life is what you'll experience and adore!

P.S.-What the eyes don't see, the heart doesn't grieve over.

Musings and Jottings

'Really important meetings are planned by the souls long before the bodies see each other.

Generally speaking, these meetings occur when we reach a limit, when we need to die and be reborn emotionally'

Words really fascinate me. Specially the words which bead themselves into some unique sentences that form an image in my mind. The image to which I can relate an entire phase of my life. There is some point in life when everything seems not working yet life appears to be smooth. Imagine a cliché situation: 'You meet someone. You become friends. You don't even realize when you people get along so well that each one of you becomes an integral part of each other's life.'

Happens with almost everyone. But does everyone actually realize the real maze of these special meetings? I don't think so. The real clarity of life comes when we pay heed to such small happenings of our life. It's like some guests come in your life, stay there, make their presence felt, alter your thinking in their own subtle way. It can't be explained. It just occurs. You don't really need to think about how to do it or so, because it will occur automatically, if you just streamline your thoughts in a particular direction. And I really believe so. You won't even come to know when your thoughts may turn themselves into reality. So always thank God for 'that accidental' tryst with such people in your life. As it goes: Life always waits for some crisis to occur before revealing itself at its most brilliant.

P.S.- It's good to be confused sometimes.

*Back to Pavilion*

High! Happy New Year, Euphoria! :) May each of the reader has a scintillating 2-0-1-1, full of euphoria like never before. :) Anyway, I gave a kick start to my new year in dilwalon ki Dilli! :) Forget marijuana, just the mere feel of being in that city gives you a high! Whao! :)

The visit to Adventure Island is what I'd like to describe. God!!! That was one heck of fun time that we had over there. It was so awesome to be a child again. The goosebumps when the most dangerous ride there would just turn you upside down at the highest point and keep you there for like 15 seconds. I tell you!! Those 15 seconds were like breath-taking and mind-shifting. All I could think of at one moment was just one thing, what if this belt broke open! And the other moment I was like, I'm surely going to take this ride again. :p Further, the bowling session at GIP, Noida was one thing that I'll never forget. No matter how much lighter ball I might choose, that useless ball still kept on sliding onto the side rails. What the hell! x( Still, the fun I had could not be compared to anything! :)

"Fogged" UCoE

So after all the spicy Dilli ki masti, I was back!! And hence started the college. Thick fog, zero visibility are some of the keywords that I'll pick up if I plan to describe the panorama. The sheer thought of that day elevates my thoughts and puts me in a wonderful mood. And a perfect long walk on that perfect same road on a perfect chilly day, what a feel! :) As none of my friends had arrived yet so I carried on with my fun, photography! ;) Captured the view of college building in this "new year". :p Nothing was visible but it was fun. Then moving on further here I was, to give yet another semester, a kick start. Music gave me a nice company. And rather that was the only thing that was helping me to keep the positivity and smile on. Because I knew, as time would pass, in spite of we having our time tables, no classes and stuff would be there. And as a result, I'd be bugged up as shit!

One hour passed and still my position as per some geostationary satellite spotting me from outer space wouldn't have changed even a single bit. :D

And hence I was back to pavilion! :D

P.S.- Patiala has made me a smoker. Courtesy: Fog! :D