Chill outside. Nudging warmth within.

It all began with some parting hugs lending a feeling of incompleteness to the soul because I was set to embark a trip sans my family. But a tiny shining streak of the dormant excitement was enough to sustain my energies. With all such things, I was set for a 3 day road trip to Manali. Just as the phoenix rises from ashes, this trip was planned in one of the lowest moments and this actually made my soul rise like a phoenix. The tigress was back in action. 

Though it's just another place yet another world. Manali. Mountains have always fascinated me.It leaves me wondering about the kind of therapeutic effect they have on my soul. This time, they triggered a photographer in me. I brought home some spectacular clicks to cherish for the times ahead.

En route to Manali

The journey began from Chandigarh in the wee hours of 25th January when the landscape was such that a glimpse outside let some of the nostalgic moments knock my heart instead of the mind. 6 am in the morning, the hour of the day when even nature is at peace. The fleeting car kept on gulping large distances of the bare road sooner than my camera could capture them. The first bout of excitement spurted when we stopped at 'The Hill Top'. The moment I stepped out of the car to stretch myself, I found that the hotel was actually built on the top of the hill and going downhill were those tiny, curvy and self turning roads that exuded of adventure.  I wish I had a small cottage nearby with my daily chore to walk on those roads up the hill to write my dream book. Ah!

 

At breakfast destination.

Choosing to skip this flashy restaurant for a roadside dhaba, we moved further. The reason was that least did we want even the walls of any hotel to act as a barrier between our souls and mother nature. Home-made paranthas (Yes, we are Punjabis and this is our trademark breakfast!) coupled with chai (not tea) in those small pahaari glasses was the breakfast for the day. Jumping onto the terrace of the dhaba and relishing the breakfast with sunlight cutting through the clouds and distant snow capped mountains giving us company, I just felt one thing, "This is what heaven must feel like!" :)
 

Reservoir of Beas

But lesser we knew that we'd yet stepped onto just the wrapping sheet of the gift. The journey had just begun. From passing the Govind Sagar Lake to the very first view of mighty Beas, nature was at its intoxicating best where I managed to click some pictures which will continue gracing my home-screen for days to follow. Going by the belief, we stopped to bow head at Hanogi Mata mandir. It is believed that earlier the cars just used to vanish beyond this point of NH-22. Then this temple was built and by just paying obeisance at this place used to cut the devilish hurdles in the journey. It really did. (Read on to know!) Anyway, I love when Pandits apply the tikka on your temple. It feels like carrying the blessings of the place along with you. 

I skipped putting on my iPod shuffler for the entire journey because I wanted absorb the voices, faces, colours of HP and divulge in them with my 100% awareness. Just a distance further, I came across a very simple thing which was very unique for a person like me who has spent almost of quarter of my life living in plains. Cable car. Though it was not one of those tourist attraction sites but a rickety steel box that was used by locals to cross the Beas. Talking to a local lady dawned upon us how disparate life in hills is. It took her almost 2 hours to climb the entire mountain and then another hour cross the river through this. After all this, she finally could step on the road that connected her to the normal, speeding life. And we thought it was only difficult travelling in metros for hours to reach the destination. Ha!  

Captivating mountains with Manali airport in front

An unforeseen incident deflected our path for a while. In lieu of saving a sick jeep which, I guess, was trying to clear his another level of RoadRash in real, our speeding car came to the unwanted halt when zaaaap, it crashed with a truck. A narrow escape! Our good karma thought of being nice to us. To absorb what had just happened and plan for the trip ahead, we landed at the cutest house in my recent memory. Location: Kullu, here we were. What a scenic beauty the place possesses! Though I'm not a person who'd generally go into finer details of the architecture of the house but believe me, this simply filled the missing links of the oh-so-perfect landscape. The wooden furniture in the wooden house mesmerized me as much as did the small Manali airport with which the house shared a common wall. A large curtain-covered glass window in the living room was the only barrier between me and the writer-provoking mother nature. (I'm running out of adjectives to be used for nature.) Upon drawing the curtains aside, extravagant distant snow-capped mountains greet you. I got to sip my favourite green tea while sitting on a wooden rocking chair and fantasizing the snow capped mountains. It felt good. The temperature of Kullu is inversely proportional to the warmth people bestow upon you.

In the hotel garden.

After spending a while there, the journey to Manali continued. It all began with jumping with excitement upon seeing traces of snow on the sides as our car cut through the silent roads that led to heaven (read Manali). I simply wish to take those scenic snapshots with me to grave. Checking in the hotel and finding out that the entire hotel was submerged in snow was a smile harbinger. The 'distant snow capped' mountains were replaced with the feeling of being IN the snow. There was just a glass window of my room barring me from the adventure that could be had. If not on the beach-sand, I finally fulfilled my #BeforeIDie wish of scribbling my name on the snow. After being a night old in Manali and taking a walk on the Mall Road for a number of times, I practiced the art of walking on snow. Easy as it looks, a tiny trip and stumble of the foot sent a shrill down my spine. The balancing act enforced a belief in me that I wouldn't mind trying a walking-on-the-rope activity in a circus now.

Perfectly laid snow blanket.

26th January. National holidays were never this much fun. The next bright sunny day of the adventure began with a plan to go to Solang Valley and enjoy some winter sports but due to the thick blanket of snow we were unable to. There was a perfectly spread snow blanket forming its own crests and troughs in such beautiful way that I got a feeling that the Manali snow has a Do-Not-Disturb board attached to it. You do not feel like fiddling with the icing that nature has put forth for you. Instead of just snow-capped mountains there were entire snow slabs on our sides. And as our car moved, it felt as if a Bollywood flick was being shot and we being the protagonists. Because on paying close attention, nature plays a self-created melody for you that acts as the perfect background score complementing the scene. I felt requesting nature to play 'Katiya Karun' for me. Stopping the car mid-way, we had our snow-playing session. Snowballs were thrown at, snowman was made. I was never sure if the step I'll take will come back to the surface or will get dumped in the 4 feet snow blanket. Unbelievable but the snow was extremely dry and cotton-y soft which made playing in the snow all the more enjoyable. Without forgetting to mention, I got to fulfill another die-hard wish of skiing at another mountain of snow on the other side. Though I sucked terribly at it but it did not harm; taking a try by getting in skiing shoes, holding ski sticks and posing for some pictures to be kept as a memory. And the moment I just took a step, I had a mighty fall with lower half of my body totally in snow. Despite the numerous falls on snow, the smile didn't leave me. Wish the falls in life were this liberating and smile-evoking.

Yeh haseen waadiya.. yeh khula asmaan!

The final day. I woke up in a normal tempo but just a sneak-peek from my hotel room made me smile as if there was a hanger stuck in my mouth. Packing our luggage and checking out of the hotel, we set for a final sight-seeing place. The famous Hadimba Temple where I got to see some Angoora rabbits and yaks that triggered a childhood memory. It was one place where the minus temperature could actually be felt by the innermost bone of my body. The location and landscape was similar to Harry Potter's Hogsmeade. Just the missing links were my Ron and Hermoine and some butter beers. Nevertheless, I got to step on the specific location where the beautiful movie Roja was shot. I guess AR Rehman actually sat there to compose the song. It felt as if you have to play a treasure hunt game to just search for a 'play' button and every object would start humming this song for you.

How can my blog post be complete without a mention of food and cuisines I hogged onto. The restaurants there had exotic names. From Honey Hut and Chopsticks to Lazy Dog and Viscos, these are few nouns that got registered in my memory conquering their own special place.

Yes, I couldn't actually believe that it's snow in my hands!

Nature communicates to you. Be patient enough to listen. Manali presents a perfect ambiance for that patience to knock, enter and dwell in us. And Oh! Those captivating snapshots. Leave alone my soul, even my camera was grateful to the scenic beauty of the Manali. Looking back at the pictures, I'm yet to believe that I actually stepped onto and created some wonderful memories in that heaven out there. A vacation far more than what I had envisaged.

Been there, done that.

Just as the last few moments of the year 2012 tick by, I make it a point to spend some moments with Euphoria that can finally make my year complete in all respects. I thank God for being with me and my family. For helping me to create all the milestones that I have achieved in the year gone by that made me grow up with them. I thank Him for granting me all those happy, notorious yet special moments with my family and friends that now I boastfully add to the 'Memoirs' tag under this year.

Hoping for more smiles, bare happiness, more moolah, more fame, more reasons to workout, more health, more love to spread and cherish, more people to communicate with, more moments of praying, more reasons to make my family proud of me, ability to rise and shine et al.

2012 bags the 'Most unexpected year so far' award of my life. But doesn't every year get that? 31st, every year, witnesses this most cliche moment when I look back and think, "OMG! This too happened? How could it be!" So, I tell myself after this year, accept the zing factor that life offers. Take a dive into each of the surprises it has planned for you and emerge out with a greater amplitude.

Hope the next year brings goodwill for everyone alive on Earth at this hour and inculcates the need for service of humanity in everyone.

That'd be all as I set to start my year year in the same way I started this one. Seeking blessings of Almighty in everything I do.

2013, bring it on. I'm all set to shine. :)

Home.

'Home Sweet Home'- Your location on GPS which can make anyone in the world jealous of you. Specially the people sitting miles away from their home. I pen down this short blog entry just to keep this date as a memory. Yesterday, I gave a surprise visit to my folks here. And as they say, surprises are always welcomed. They indeed are. The normal evening family chit-chat was disrupted by my sudden arrival. And my travel-fatigue was disrupted by sudden shower of lovely hugs and kisses. The priceless experession on each of the faces would surely lend a smile on my face for at least a couple of weeks to follow. And believe me, it feels SO good to be back home. Especially after your impromptu plans falling into place.

Everyone at home got so surprised that there were bouts of happiness and smiles even after so many hours of my arrival. With someone waking up in the middle of the night and smiling upon seeing me sleeping peacefully in my bed to the other person pampering me to the fullest, I felt loved. There is so much peace and security in my castle. *touchwood* The whole city seems so like a cocoon. And like a snail, I feel so protected to return to it.
Time to catch some winks in my princess-y room. *stretches out*

Calm versus Chaos

"National holidays were never so dear. As I head home, this Republic Day, I thank my stars for making 26th January fall on Thursday. Taking a leave for Friday, I get to spend a loooong weekend with family. And as they say, home is where the heart is. And now, I actually second that.

Well, here I begin my most expected blog post of  the comparisons between my 'small-town' (read Patiala) and oh-so-big-city (read Delhi). If I have to describe Delhi in one word, I'd pick up: VIBRANT. Vibrant is one word which is just made for Delhi. It offers you so much more than you can actually absorb at once. After spending like ten days there, I got some time to observe and absorb the real fast life of Delhi. A common view of a metro station is sufficient to baffle a person like me for at least a jiffy, forcing to just take a deep breath and realize, what is actually going on. Exciting at first, routine at second and suffocating at last this hush-rush seems. Courtesy: Patiala being quite a silent city is much much calmer than the fast paced Delhi life. I always admired this busy hustle bustle but now when I have to face it everyday, it somehow sometimes seems as a chaos. Everyone is just running his/her own marathon. But I would definitely say that this super fast Dilli-routine is what makes you grow with it.It pulls the leash of your life along with it and increases its velocity manifolds. Simple as it is read but complex as the process actually takes place."

This is the post that was pending since like forever, lying in my drafts. But the voice of Kailash Kher and the soothing afternoon have been kind enough to grant me some courage to finally complete it. Thanks to the Ruskin Bond novel that I just finished a while ago which persuaded me to kick my blanket off and write a blog entry instead of catching some winks. As I mentioned the novel so let me just start the chapter of my life in past 2 months in decreasing order . 'The Room On The Roof'. I'd say, it was a gripping novel. Being my first Ruskin Bond novel, I was excited but extremely surprised, rather shocked to know that this was his first novel, hence special, and he wrote it at a tender age of seventeen. I read this in the prologue and said to myself, 'You are 21 and have just written a dream-book with a dream-pen. Gear up babe.'

Novel! I picked up a handful, oops bagful would be a better word, of books from the International book fair that was held at Pragati Maidan. Being in Delhi at that time, I just couldn't skip it and let me admit, it was just worth it. It seemed as if whole world is a big beautiful library and we just have one purpose in life i.e. to read. To read more and more. Though the beauty with which I have just put it in was a little marred by the prickly heat and immense rush there. Blame me for going there on last day. Laziness as someone calls it. *pulls-out-tongue*

Well, mentioning about the places I have visited wouldn't be interesting nor sufficient to describe what I want to. Because more than those places, it was varied variety of people that I happened to observe, see and meet. And it was those people that ended up adding onto my experiences.

I have so many things to put down because each new day here is a new page in my book of experience. With learning to handle various kinds of people to handling my own mood swings, I have to do to by myself. Have no family to pamper me 24x7 or friends to joke around and forget about it. Though I have found a bunch of new people whom I can call as 'friends' but as they say, no one can replace a few chosen ones who have actually walked with you on the path of life. Ooo, getting to philosophical. Let me get back.

I'll describe a few people who are now a part of my daily routine and who have got themselves registered under a specific and unique pictorial sketch in my head. Let me give them a one liner name and summarize their character sketch. I'm wicked. *evil-grin*

1. Ms.Chic-looking-rockstar: She was the first person I got to talk in my PG. And she was the one because of whom I gave my PG a tag of 'cool'. (How wannabe-ish. I know but there is a Gaga in all of us. *loud-laugh*) Eventually, knowing more about her, I came of know of the two uber-cool tattoos she had on her body. Were classy. And also came to know about the philosophies of her life. She was/is actually one person here who knows a little-more about me than everyone else out here. May be because we had something in common. Family stuff, to my shock. It is like, we meet some people in our lives who act as a sink for a few hours and extract so many things out of you gifting you with an unknown bond to cherish.

2. The Dukhi-est Aatma ever: I got to talk to this unique personality on the first night of my stay itself. Courtesy, I had left the common room's door open and she stood up while watching some of her daily soap (which was a great matter of concern) to dictate me of the rule to always shut the door. I happened to explore more of her Dukhi-sm in coming up days. Saw her fighting with all her strength (doesn't have much strength though. Is a skinny chotta-packet who wears half pants in winters and complains of cold while shivering) for the unmentionable electricity bill, gas bill, washroom usage and the list is long as per her. Blah blah blah... who cares?! All I know is that the aim of her life is to boast of the individual room she has got here. You will always find her with a particular mooh-fulao stern expression, sitting in the common room, working on her laptop with TV blabbering in front of her. Guess she had pledged to use all the facilities of PG AT ONCE!!! Phew.

3. Ms. I-Head-This-PG: Some people are born with this kind of leadership attitude. I would've respected this leadership quality if it'd been for some good cause. Talking to landlords about the maid, food and electricity is what she means by 'taking the responsibility' then it's time to look up dictionary, girl. So many wrong ideas. God. And the worst thing is when she would criticize someone (Criticizing is her breathing exercise that she has to do for her breathing to go on right.) she would do it using the worst of grammar ever. I correct one mistake in my head and here arrives another one. I think better title for her would be, Ms.Loudmouth. She is my current roommate. And while I write this, she arrives, peeps into my laptop, inquiring everything. Think of the 'devil' and the devil is here. *sigh*

4. Ms. Just-Another-Bollyfan: She was my first roommate. Her middle name according to me is 'enigma'. She is quite mysterious woman I have come across. Apart from that, thanks to her, my day used to begin with a dhinchak bollywood number that she'd play on her cell phone while she was getting ready for her office. And I tell you, that particular and peculiar lyric of the song will get stuck in your head, refusing to leave your mind and tongue. I used to end up humming it, looking at myself and exclaiming, 'Shut up, you fool!'. Blame the songwriters and composers. They would make the silliest lyric also sound peppy and catchy! I wonder how.

5.The Trio: I know there has been a repetitive use of so many Ms-s and her-s in all the character stories I have described above but sadly or gladly I live in a girls' PG and these are the only people that form my day's part. *super-naughty-expression*. Jokes apart, moving on, I chose not to explain the three more girls separately because for me they are more or less the same and there has nothing been striking enough about any one of them that needs a special mention. I can put it as, if I detested 'relationships' 80%, after meeting them and being with them, I detest them 90% now.

Anyhow, I like being here, if not love. As I said, experience. Two great proverbs that I keep on saying to myself time and again, 'Ignorance is Bliss' and 'Survival of the Fittest'. Befitting!

Well, that was a little insight into my new world. Would be mentioning about the few places I have seen, the people and colour of Delhi I have witnessed during my Dilli-ka-Daura. Cheers!

The other side of me.

A feel-good comment on my facebook profile picture just triggered the little girl in me to write this blogpost. With two thousand and eleven coming to an end, celebration and euphoria is in the air. But I happen to be at the opposite end of see-saw of this swing. My four years long association with the Alma mater, my graduation college just came to an end and the feeling has still not sunk in. And with six months long internship lying in front of me, the surprising world yet to be explored, frankly, I'm all nerves. Does that mean I'm not so adaptable to change? Well, let my future introspection session decide that.

Introspection! As I'm getting way too much free time as of now, introspection is quite frequent. Mostly the few moments of solitude that I usually experience before just falling asleep. Or when I wake up in the middle of the night with my eyes hovering around, my brain numb, I tend to sink inwards and think about numerous random things. This always yields a few surprises for me because it is simply mind boggling to see what all incidents and flashbacks from my life have occupied a part of my subconscious. Being a Gemini, true to the core, I have multiple personalities. Two striking personalities swap way too soon, sometimes putting me in confusion too. My alter ego is what always masks my original self and has always been taking almost everyone for a ride. Not intentionally but naturally.

Going back to the starting of the blog while keeping in mind what I just mentioned, my personality i.e. my alter ego, what everyone witnesses usually is full of life (that was the comment on my facebook profile picture), outgoing and what not. But the natural self which comes out rarely and in front of rare people is a silly little scared girl who is always thinking way too much and searching for her cocoon almost everywhere and in almost every situation. Yes, it IS confusing for me too. When things don't go according to me, general tendency of my alter ego is to exude the different and a wide array of cusses that I've recently learnt and registered in my mind. But my original self shrinks, inside, way too much to an unmentionable size and alienate almost from everyone, simply to not let anyone reach there. And what needs to escape me from there is a simple heart-to-heart talk with someone or something exciting to provide me with a whiff of fresh air and escape me from that shell I make for myself, way too soon.

With so many people around me to love me, I still withdraw and cut-off myself way too soon. Though it doesn't yield any solution but I guess, I feel secure in my own tiny shell. I sulk, I think, I introspect, form notions in this tiny space of mine. But all this goes according to what I want. And that's what keeps me satisfied and happy in this shell. The privacy of my mind. But long twenty one years and I still haven't been able to kick that side of me and let my alter ego overlap my original self. Difficult.

Not-so-good.

Ah! It's December already. The year end. As I write this, 'year end', I have a satisfied smile on my face as 2011 will finally be over and 2012 will bring new hopes, new wishes and a fresh euphoria to deal with it all. Looking back, 2011 hasn't been a very fair year, specially the later half of the year. Courtesy the new health problem on family front. Hospitals and doctors were the two things that decided our smiles, our sigh-of-relief-s and definitely shadowed most of the part of our daily prayers. Sad but true. Keeping up with all these tiny-winy problems, I saw the strong family bond emerging from in between that was always and every time there but somehow went unnoticed. And again as the cliche fact goes that it is indeed the most difficult and painful thing to see your loved ones in pain. It was a heavy and painful year for indeed each member of the family with still no respite from it.

Medicines, injections, needles, prescriptions, test reports, cotton swabs filled with spirit made my house more of a hospital. It was horrifying to witness it. The way the particular nerve is searched, applied spirit on and then a needle piercing that nerve filling the whole body with some strong antibiotic that we all had plunged our hopes on, that THIS may finally work. That completely shook me as I was sitting besides my Massi who was the brave soul going through all this.

The unbearable pain. The wailing noises. The thousands of tears. The millions of prayers. This is what my family went through in the past few months. All this was so much intensified that we all almost forgot all the good things that happened in each one of our lives. The good things that we remember are how many times doctors said, 'operation was successful', 'she's doing better now', 'this new medicine seems to work' or 'she will be discharged in a few days'. Phew. The definition of 'good' changes with time. I wonder how. And I wonder why.

And the problem is still not over. I just hope and pray that everything falls back into place by mid-December and we all bid a happy goodbye to the heavy year 2011.

I guess this has been the most bare post in recent times with my fingers pressing the exact keys as my heart telling them to and not the brain for a change. And I'm liking it. Wish I have some pretty angels near me sitting and reading this post and thinking of blessing my family a little. How I wish.

I'm Back!

As I read my last blog post, I definitely slip into the lane of nostalgia. So much has changed in these 3 months. So many things happened at home front, personal front and academically too. And the moment something unique happened in my life or as I crossed another milestone of my life, the first thing that my mind prompted was ,"Wow, I'll mention it on Euphoria". But damn those one or the other engagements which end up preoccupying your mind, leaving a very little time for things you love to indulge yourself in.

Anyway, one main milestone that I completed on 7th of September was my placement. I got placed with Infosys! Yay! Will talk about it in coming up entries.

So, as today is 14th of November, synonymous with Children's Day. And with every other page on facebook advising you to let the child within you never die, I'll try and list some childlike reasons which help me stay euphoric and upbeat in my life. So many people talk about the abstract things that give us happiness. Yes, true. But I have some more weird, kiddish and silly reasons. These are the few reasons to love being alive. 

I caught Rockstar's first day, first show. And believe me, the songs of the movie are superawesome. They have been on repeat ever since. The soulful and meaningful songs A.R. Rehman has composed, *BOWS*. Not just these, I seriously wonder the power of songs. They help you create another world and take you to some other galaxy where everything remains so beautiful and meaningful in your own way.



Next one in my list would be Winter! Wow. The chilly breeze, the fogs, the scent of the winter season, I just happen to love it all. With winter beginning to set in, it's just lovely put on your pullover and plug in the headphones and go for a long walk. Mesmerizing. Truly. Winters are indeed the best reason to include a stroll in your schedule. How i wish we had snowfalls in winters. *sigh*

Mmm. The smell of new books. WOW. I'd like to mention this because I recently ordered a few books from Flipkart. I always like to see the bookshelf ,at the back of my bed, full. It is definitely a pleasurable sight. New books, undoubtedly, have their own charm. I'd love to get lost in a unique kind of world each book carries with itself.


Phew. I'm tired for now. Will continue putting these reasons to love being alive in the next post. Adois! :)

Rollercoaster

With the monsoon making its presence actually felt for the first time this summers, it is a picturesque view outside. This picturesque view is all the more beautified when I'm sitting outside my room. With raindrops caressing my feet and their melody creating a beautiful song in itself, there is no better treat in store for me.

I thought of writing something else. But I guess this rain has a plan to change everything. And so did it change my idea of blogpost this wonderful evening. Here is what I have to share today!

There is a roller coaster that we take a ride of. Every now and then. Emotions. Love, attachment, attraction, bliss, to name a few. The most common mistake that we all do is to associate these emotions to some person. Everytime the person changes, we tend to change our so-called definition of that very emotion, which in itself is no less than a sin. Then these emotions change to sadness, jealousy, hatred, sorry-for-yourself or regret. It is all a part of growing up. 

If you experience the first set of emotions that I mentioned, cherish them. Fall in love, get attached to someone who can value it, get beautifully attracted to someone, experience bliss. Enjoy the beauty of each emotion.  

On the other hand, if you tend to experience the other set of emotions that I mentioned then learn to detach yourself from them. Take a dip in the pool of sadness once but come out of it with a greater amplitude. Jealousy! Yes, if you experience jealousy towards someone, then I have a beautiful quote for you to overcome it. Say this to yourself, "How can I be envious of where you now are, when I've already been there myself?" 

Next in line is hatred. If you wish to hate someone, you just rot yourself by hating (read thinking about) them. You don't let their thoughts and deeds go away from you. Hence they stay the closest to your heart when they should be the farthest. Don't keep this hatred towards them as your pet. Don't feed your thoughts to it and wait for it to grow healthier. No! It will only grow dirtier.

Last in the list is sorry-for-yourself. The most common and most frequent. You are special and you are important. I'd just say one thing, learn to value yourself!

  Don't bother even if you fail in following any of these. FORGIVE YOURSELF. To err is human! And there's always a next time. There is always a learning from something and there is always a purpose of every person in your life. And not to be forgotten, its the darker shade that makes light really bright. Yes, people do change. But just don't hold back on these emotions. What if we don't allow our self to go all the way through them, we can never get to be detached from them. Just because we are too busy being afraid. Dive in through these emotions, experience them and then detach yourself from them. 

And above all, try and not associate these emotions just to one person. At least don't butcher the definition of love/hatred just for the heck of one person. Do yourself this favour! Chin up, smile! Beautiful! :)

Back to Black

"Maybe death is the great equalizer, the one big thing that can finally make strangers shed a tear for one another"- Tuesdays With Morrie

The first ever Guest-blog by a friend and a true Amy Winehouse fan. Happy Reading! :)

One of my favorite teachers always ridiculed me for my weird fascination with troubled pop tarts. Amy Jade Winehouse was a newbie to crack into the list. And soon she outshone many.

With a voice that was filled with such power and pain that it was at once entirely human yet laced with the divine. That enveloped vulnerability and also displayed her fiery persona at the same time.

I remember earning scorn from my friends and braving blows urging me to “shut the wailing bitch up or die.” But I never capitulated and now they ended up shedding a tear at her demise.

My niece made a beautiful Diary on Amy Winehouse that she completed just 2 days before she heard that Amy died. All glum, she rang me up and squeaked “So no more music coming from her?”

Wino did have an impact.

Her delicious first jazz-influenced venture “Frank” was soon overshadowed by her sophomore record that led to her meteoric rise to fame and also helped her find and wondrously display her 'voice'. ''Back to Black'' catapulted her to super stardom, a record amalgamating rock, pop, soul, ska (of which little is left) all in one. It also won her the ''biggie'' Record of the Year at 2008 Grammy Awards.

Her throaty-sultry vocals only added to the charm but her lyric is what I had a penchant for, what always engrossed me, intrigued me. Every word she put was deeply thought over (look up for Wake Up Alone & Some Unholy War). Her songwriting stays nonpareil. Was so dark and uncannily mirrored the fact that she knew she wouldn't hold on to life for long. She saw it coming!

She really lived the blues. She poured her ache through her songs. An unbridled fountain of pain that she masked through her songwriting! I feel as if her songs had more wisdom than she!

And Rehab happened! Breaking into the Top10 in the States. A feat that paved path for the ''big voice'' artists ruling the charts currently. It won her 4 Grammys.

Rehab that has become an anthem for the troubled, echoed her defiance projecting heartbreak, a craving to be adored and also how drinking replaced Love in her life.

Stubborn as a mule and fierce, She lived on her own terms- uncontrolled, rebellious and untamed. Her body art and her alcoholic logic only cement that. How at her every live performance she never eschewed having more than just a drink and mockingly said “It's my gig, no one can have me doing what I don’t want.”

There is no way u can mellow a Lioness. (which is exactly what she coined her own label 'Lioness Record Label')

Unveling at Madame Tussauds @ London on 23rd July 2008- exactly 3 years before her death date, 23rd July 2011.

Her songs, extremely dark, boast of sex, drugs, drinking and of being lovesick. How beautifully she used expletives in bluesy retro-soul tunes! Fearlessly hilarious. Supremely drunk on pride.

They ooze ache, mirror her heartpour; her lyric was impeccably honest and autobiographical. Humorously honest. Enchanting!

She was utterly hardcore. Thoroughly enjoyable. And not mere tabloid fodder. She was a muse! She glorified being inebriated but even her tipsy performances were pitch-perfect. She never stooped so low as pop acts today to sell her talent. She was too much talent, all raw; that never required Autotune, or publicity gimmicks. Maybe that's why she wasn't as famous but those who knew her were well acquainted with the talent that she housed!

She may have topped polls in 'The worst dressed' and 'The most hated in UK' but that never eclipsed her talent. Her 'sound' spoke volumes.

How she has managed to carve an impression with a slim set of music she offered and with only half a decade into prominence.

Her best came out with Mark Ronson: Rehab, Tears Dry On Their Own, Wake Up alone, Love Is A Losing Game and You Know I’m Know Good!! All recommended.

And her cover of the Zuton's Valerie is such a good track to wake up to. How she made it her own.

Talking about drugs she sang on Addicted:

'It's got me addicted, does more than any dick did'

Quite a statement in itself.

And she does heartbreak so good on the track 'Back To Black' that it even made Barkha Dutt exclaim “She wasn't my generation of music, but how I LOVED back to black.”

A lyric in which she is in a funeral ceremony that bids her broken heart adieu.

“U went back to what u knew,

so far removed from all that we've been through,

And I tread a troubled track,

My odds are stacked and I go back to black'

And about falling out of love on Tears Dry On Their Own so cockily

“We could have never had it all,

We had to hit a wall,

so this is the inevitable withdrawl,

I can not blame myself again,

I shud just be my own best friend,

Not fuck myself in the head with stupid men”

And she craved for love, dismissing the whole idea at the same time in the gorgeous Love Is A Losing Game. It leaves an ever-lingering effect and makes you to break into a reverie.

“Though i'd better blind,

Love is a fate resigned.

Memories mar my mind,

Love is a fate resigned.

Over futile odds,

Laughed at by the gods.

And now the final frame,

Love is a losing game”

About her wandering eye on the You Know I’m No Good- the chorus of which seems so befitting to what everyone expected of her:

“I cheated myself like I knew I would,

I told you I was trouble, You know i'm no good”

A death foretold?

The Rolling Stones Mick Jagger opined “I fear Amy Winehouse might die” after performing with her at the IOW festival, 2008. A gamut of famous people echoed the same. There was also a website launched back in 2007 christened 'whenwillamywinehousedie.com' which urged users to book a date for the inevitable. And the 4 winners who had their luck with the prophecy were gifted an Ipod Touch! Cold!

Everyone was right. It all spiraled down. Her mortal coil undid itself way too soon.

Her mother’s reaction to her death was just as shocking- “It was only a matter of time, she seemed out of it.” And her father had written a eulogy for her back in 2007 after she had a seizure and was rushed to a hospital.

After passing, she joined the likes of Nirvana's Kurt Cobain, Janis Joplin, Robert Johnson and Jimi Hendrix. The Club “27 Forever”.

A club, according to me, lionized for all the wrong reasons. People fail to understand that what Kurt, Janis, Jimi and Amy had in common was not ‘Great musicians kicking the bucket at 27’.

It was Substance Abuse. It was a consequence of Fame and Money, of a load that most recently Winehouse succumbed to.

It's a lesson in the wake of extreme loss to Music that if someone can help an addict, it is the addict.

Interesting less-known facts about Amy Winehouse:

1. In 2008, final year English Literature students at Cambridge University were asked to analyse lyrics to her song Love Is A Losing Game as part of their end of year examinations in 'Practical Criticism'.

It was like she was born with this beautiful song in her heart. It is so simple and magically striking. And the words just blow you away!

Excess created by Guy Portelli on Amy Winehouse

2. Excess, a piece, created by Guy Portelli, had a miniature of the singer lying on top of a cracked champagne bottle, with a pool of spilled liquid underneath. The body was covered with what appeared to be tiny pills, while one outstretched hand held a glass.

3. A wax sculpture of Winehouse went on display at the London Madame Tussauds on 23 July 2008.

Exactly 3 years later she passed away. On the same day. 23 July, 3 years after the unveiling. Quite uncanny.

Art gone too far? "The Only Good Rock Star Is a Dead Rock Star"

4. A sculpture by Marco Perego, entitled "The Only Good Rock Star Is a Dead Rock Star", that depicts Winehouse lying in a pool of blood with an apple and a bullet hole in her head after being shot. Perego said of the sculpture "Rock stars are the sacrificial animals of society."

My take- An art gone too far!

Photograph personally taken by Bryan Adams

5. In 2007, Bryan Adams wrote a song ‘Flower Grown Wild’ in which he warns Amy that she's flirting with death. An excerpt:

“Nobody saw the tears in your silk n' lace; or the scarred little kid behind your face

Just another little pretty thing; another angel with a broken wing”

Later that year, he photographed the beehived star for Hear the World, a non-profit organization meant to raise awareness about hearing impairment.

Even Bollywood paid Tributes to her.

Farhan Akhtar shared a thought by the singer. '"I burn my candle at both ends, it will not last the night, but ah my foes and oh my friends, it gives a lovely light." RIP Amy Winehouse,' he wrote.

Music composer Vishal Dadlani couldn't believe the news. 'Godamn! It is true. she's gone! Amy Winehouse, one of the most unique and mercurial songwriters of our time! God keep her safe! Amy Winehouse, dead at 27. RIP,' he updated.

Hard Kaur wrote: 'R.I.P Amy winehouse..u will be missed :( Back to Black- one of the sickest albums ever and very close to my heart.'

Sonam Kapoor loved Amy's voice. 'Amy winehouse for all the demons you faced I hope you at last have found your peace. I loved your big voice and your music.love & peace,' she updated.

Akshay Kumar seemed upset about her demise. 'I think, 2day many people wish that the talented #AmyWinehouse didnt say "No No No" 2 Rehab. Such a shame to lose sucha young Artist to what the world knew was inevitable #RIPAmyWinehouse,' he updated.

I couldn’t agree more.

Paulo Coelo tweeted the best set of lyric as a tribute - ''So we are history, your shadow covers me/ the sky above a blaze that only lovers see (Amy Winehouse)''

She’s touched hearts and left behind a legacy. Her untamable persona made Back To Black the last song she ever sang! And the sickest record ever!!

Detached herself from a horde of insatiable fans! Left Us deprived of 20 years of good records.

She’s again reigning charts. One last time. Is #1 again in UK and the US.

Her music is immortal. It’s just that She loved her demons more than herself.

Appreciation of her accomplishments will always be haunted by her lost potential.

A music mogul taken away too soon.

But she'll never truly be gone cause have you heard that voice?

Rishi Soni

I've grown up...

Yet another day. Yet another time.

This is what I felt on 25th day of July, 2010. But still took a step forward to actually convert my dream of having a blog by my name into reality. And hence this journey started. I felt quite alienated to this new and vast world. And choosing between 'blogger' and 'wordpress' seemed like a life/death decision. Fiddled, learnt and hence eureka!!!!

Let me scratch my mind a little and rewind the time, dating back to the previous year. Looking back has never been this beautiful until it concerned Euphoria. I read somewhere: 'Dreams don't come cheap'. Well, it might sound kiddish but having a blog was actually one of my dreams. To have a space where I could pen down my thoughts and write as 'I' want to. And what is better than people following you to read what you actually have to say?! I may not be the original thinker but yes, I am an original listener. So as I listened, I wrote. I wrote, wrote and wrote. And here I am. :) This Euphoria absorbed my observations like a beautiful and welcoming sponge. And as the sponge absorbs and grows, so did Euphoria. It slowly and gradually became the primary outlet for my self-expression.

MF Hussain once said, "When I begin to paint, I hold the sky in my hands as the stretch of my canvas is unknown to me." And believe me, the moment Euphoria was born, I had no clue how to go about it. What to write, how to write and when to write. But, I tell you, this space is infectious. The moment I click on 'New Post' button I feel like stepping into a vast field with no treasure map in my hand. When I start writing, my fingers press the desired keys automatically. And my thoughts actually get converted into words. Awesome.

Moving on, I would quote another saying by yet another amazing man, George Eliot, "It's never too late to be who you might have been". I associate this with the 'Best Blog in Personal Category' accolade. I could have never imagined in my wildest dreams to participate and My Euphoria to actually win it too.

God has really been great. The journey has really been awesome and this flashback makes me fill up with pride. And hence I proudly say that My Euphoria is one year old now. Cheers!! \m/

When Pictures Speak

Finally my hiatus is over and Euphoria has pulled me back into its pool full of bliss and verve. The satisfaction I get after spending a few sole-me-and-euphoria moments is simply incomparable. Well, it should have been an utterly euphoric post because I somewhere heard that when we bounce back to life/activity/love/person, we tend to bounce with an increased amplitude but I'll keep this one a little plain and bare.

Colourful pictures attract me like a moth to oil. Thus, I let a few pictures talk for me this time.

A look back: 

Paint your life your way

I have had some of the moments when my heart was actually doing somersaults. Some real ups and downs. Sometimes, a sudden gush of nostalgia or blue struck me. And trust me, it's not much fun. But from the so many shades of colours, let's remember just the bright ones. Believe me, life is really awesome. :)

  

Choose what you want
Absolutely. But it depends on you, whether you want to count those thousand things and be overwhelmed with gratitude and joy, or sit back and pick up the few imperfections and problems, and magnify them and go on and rant about them. The choice is yours - be thankful and happy, or cynical and gloomy. It is completely up to you to open which ever envelope you want to. :)

Simplicity is Beautiful
Yes. Whether it is in how your dress or look, or more importantly in how you live. Complicating everything is neither fun, nor does it solve problems. Let go of your barriers and express what you actually want to. Be bare. Be truthful. Keep things simple, be beautiful and live beautifully.

Tuesdays With Morrie
I read an utterly beautiful book in a past few days. I have specially chosen the adjective, beautiful, to describe it because of the way Mitch Albom has compiled it. I ended up noting down a great number of precious words by Morrie, his professor who is on death bed. They have very beautifully discussed every topic under the sun. From jealousy and attachment to love and family.

 
Follow your heart
It is definitely your life and you will responsible for it. 40 years down the line, when you'll be looking back at your life. No parents' taunts, no friends' remark is going to the death bed with you. Make your life worthwhile so that when you look back, it is always a beautiful landscape ready for you. Drop your fears. Identify your passion. Introspect. Follow your dreams. Explore. Most importantly, Fall and RISE.