Apostrophe.

“Punctuation is to words as cartilage is to bone, permitting articulation and bearing stress.”
― John Lennard

How do you feel when early morning, trying to disconnect from reality, humming onto the tip-toeing music number, cherishing the nature, you are walking to your building in the office and you bump into a team mate? Baaaam!! This was the only thing that you never wanted to happen. The sole thing that makes you realize, life is not that merrier as you assumed just a while ago. The weather, the day isn't that chirpy as it felt sometime back. And what follows next? The elevator trip to your floor and further to your desk would be more than enough to fill you up with the latest office gossip, something that you just didn't want to start your day with. But, sigh! That's how a 'Good Morning' sounds in our corporate world. Real world problems.

Though, this morning was a tad different. The team mate of mine asked me an English grammar doubt, thereby increasing my happiness quotient. Yes, when it's colleagues, talk to me about the language, I'll be more than glad to strike a conversation. Else, have my monosyllable replies served on a silver platter right in your face.

What propped up a question in his mind was a mailer for a team party that I'd sent last week for a tiny celebration. Yes, we celebrate when someone leaves the team. *insert the final cadence* Is it because we're happy to have him off the hook? Or for having a gathering where we get to openly state how envious we're of him as he gets to leave while we're being made to stay? Either ways, it's an occasion worth cherishing for both, the team and the person gaining freedom from it. Why? I still can't pin point onto one reason.

Anyway, the mailer's subject read: 'Tejas' farewell'. The obvious question of this team mate of mine was on the apostrophe. He asked, 'Hey! Did you forgot putting an extra 'S' in the subject that day?' Ask me how I resisted punching him in the face! No, not for the wicked smile he carried on his face thinking, he had pointed out my mistake but for that deadly usage of past tense with 'did'. Can I oblige him with an extra grammar rule apart from the one he has asked for? Oh, the enlightenment! Well, I clarified his doubt. But restrained myself from saying, 'Hey! Your grammar is wrecked. Forget Apostrophe.' and knocking him down a dark alley. 

Nevertheless, I did look up online for what exactly is the story with Apostrophe and if there are some lesser known rules around it. I stepped onto some interesting images from a website: 

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/apostrophe

Here's some of it ->


Closing the post with a quote that would force you to be careful with your grammar next time onwards:

“Be careful of your spelling, if an o can make count cunt, what it might do to you.”

On a lighter note, never underestimate the power of punctuation for that's where all our emoticons originate from! :D

The cheesy lilies.

“Don’t worry if people think you’re crazy. You are crazy. You have that kind of intoxicating insanity that lets other people dream outside of the lines and become who they’re destined to be.”
― Jennifer Elisabeth

Utterly bored in a meeting, I started scribbling on my notepad. An hour later, post the meeting, I got to hear two versions of it. A colleague, startled, came up to me and said, "Were you actually taking down the key points through that meeting? Wish even I could understand enough." And on the flip side, a friend, barging into my cubicle, "What the hell were you scribbling to keep you up through that shit? Show your notepad to me right away." I had the same answer for both of them, "Yes, I was taking down the notes." Though, needless to mention, the further responses were startlingly different. When colleagues turn into friends. Sigh.

Nevertheless, it was that very evening when someone on Instagram tagged me in his sheepishly silly post titled - 15 facts about me. I'm not a person who'll write about it on a social media website but I can seek some attention while putting  up at my favourite place, can't I?

1. 'Hate' or 'Detest' would be too harsh a word. So, I'd put it in simple way, I, pretty much, am not fond of my name. Always pushing myself to leave a trail of glitter, it isn't that great for a girl born and brought up in Punjab, for when 'Aman' is called out and you have more than one heads turning around.

2. I love fresh flowers. So much so that, there have been times when I have run out of cash to buy a roadside snack because I ended up picking flowers on my way back from work for the little vase that rests by my bedside. Doesn't the word 'lilies' in the blog title resonate with this?

3. Now when I've mentioned running out of cash, let me reveal where does most of my salary go into. Fragrances. I, not only, like collecting perfumes but also wearing them. Anything other than that has never found a place in the special corner of my dressing table. It has always been a perfume from being it a normal day at work to being some special Friday night dinner. Just the fragrance varies. And a glowing advantage of being a perfume lover is when you get to have a trip down the memory lane by just a whiff of some random perfume. Yes, I actually associate memories with fragrances.

4. After perfumes, it got to be my love for food. The word 'cheesy' in the title of this beautiful post justifies that. Obviously, I picked up my two most favourite things and here I had the title. As I say, you eat food. Then you eat some more food. You keep on eating till you get high on food. Till you just sway with the wind. Till your body feels light because of ecstasy and heavy because of umpteenth amount stuffed in your happy tummy. If you've ever closed your eyes to divulge deep into the bliss after taking the first bite of your most favourite chocolate rolls, you'd know what I'm talking about. Mmmm.

5. Family comes first. No matter what. Because I somewhere read, you never turn your back on your family, even when they do.

6. Although, I'm a girl but I trim my nails instead of filing them. During teenage, I have fought over this with my younger sister to refrain her from doing so as well. And now, she fights with me to encourage me in joining her in this but alas! Wait till you ask me to apply nail-paints. IT MAKES MY SKIN CRAWL. In caps, yes, that!

7. You start your conversation with 'Dear', I'll gladly greet you with a 'Bye'. Now, I can royally use the harsh word to put it in clear frame. I hate people who use 'dear' in their conversations. English has some better salutations. Google, will you?

8. Flawlessly using the language and leaving me with a velvety feeling, I'm all yours. Caring if you're using the present tense with a 'did' correctly, oh boy, you've won me over. Yes, correct grammar is THE criteria.

9. My mom asked me the other day, "What do you really want to do in life?"All I could figure out in these 20-something years of my stay on this planet is, all I need is a job where I am Paid-To-Talk. Yes, I cannot go without jabbering for even some hours, leave alone days. Communicating is the key to my survival. Damn you, whatsapp! IMs/texting cannot replace the power of voice. You remember the good old warm phone calls on a Sunday afternoon?

10. I might have grown up for a candy floss but I still do believe in those yellow beaked birds merrily hopping in the green gardens which give meaning to my 'One for sorrow, two for joy'. I , in real, have surprised the boys of my life by making them pause for a while, blow a kiss and say it aloud when I see a random 'joy' while walking on the road. Those of you who can connect with me on this, may you always get to see these birds in evens.

11. I have been true to my Gemini character ever since. No, I won't talk about my whims and fancies this time. Let's talk of bigger things. I love change. The idea of it is exciting. Stagnation of any form drains out the energy in me. Be it the career, a relationship or even sticking to same set of clothes for a month. But I am not that fond of transitions too. I go through some serious mental and emotional changes when even my work station or the side of the bed changes. I, sometime back, changed my place of stay in the city. And believe me, for an entire month, people could take me for a PMSing, grumbling teenage girl.

12. Spiritual or religious? I'm too young to pick either of them and abide by it but I do believe that there is a force guiding us the way through life.

13. I love multitasking. The delay in the joining of my job gave me a chance to exercise my passion and be a Citizen Journalist with ToI while being a Verbal Faculty at Career Launcher. Juggling between the two jobs, I was the happiest girl on the planet. Talking about present, being a Systems Engineer alone couldn't help me maintain my sanity. And here I was, a freelancer at CL again. Hence, it has been a while when Saturdays are the most sought after days of the week,

14. Now when I've already mentioned being brand conscious, there is something that required a special mention. Apple. Yes, I'm emotionally, technically and physically attached to my iPhone. There have been days in my life when my eyes would spark up at a mere sight of it. And getting to hold the gorgeous thing in my hand would give me days of pleasure. I still fondly remember the day, I got mine. One of the orgasmic days etched in my memory. Oh Steve Jobs, what blessing have you left us behind. All the techies, I'm in no mood for a technical debate.  It is just my sheer love for the bitten apple.

Sigh. Self-obsession much? Well, thank that dull Monday afternoon meeting that made me scribble random keywords listing down things which are a part of me. Thing that I love. Things that I yearn for. Things that are my true calling.

A place called Home.

December '13. Home visit.

Me to Mommy: If this is not heaven, then what is it?

*wraps her arms around me in a tight hug*

Mommy to Me: This is it.

Home is not a place. It's a feeling. It’s a Sunday. A day off at home. I open my eyes, lying on my bed for a long time, letting my mind wander from one memory to another. You need to remember how there have been days you felt all warm inside, like you’ve just drunk a hot cup of tea. Like a small fire has ignited of you. Hold onto the warmth and never let it go. Mentioning of the warmth, I, immediately, am transported to the place where chaos is soothing, every tiny moment is a celebration and the soul is at peace. Rhythm in steps. Harmony in heart. Symphony on streets. Only a few places have that kind of pin drop silence. And the only music to be seen or smelt is quietness. Home. The year 2014 began with a tattered sweater, getting high on the scent of home and being with family. Someone has rightly said, visiting your hometown is like visiting yourself. Oh what a luxury it was for people to hold their loved ones whenever they wanted.

Without alphabets, world would have been a better and cuter place to live in. With the arrival of the youngest angel in the family, it was fun to see even the oldest member doing crazy things just for that one smile of hers. Warm hugs, nonsensical chatter, short walks and long talks with Mom, hysterical laughter sessions - that's what sums up my home visit this December. The best month of the year in my city when everything was so cold apart from the city and the people. When even your hyperactive dog would snuggle under covers and not move an inch even if you kick his ass. I have learned that we cannot live even in heaven if it is not our hometown. Memories, mainly childhood and growing connects us to the soil, not its beauty. One can never have enough of the time spent with family. It's like the addictive weed, every whiff of it makes you want to have more. But as they say, if you want to travel in the ocean, you will have to leave the sight of the shore.
 
Making a note of the date today, I complete an entire year since I first stepped out of the house to embark a journey that least did I know could churn me from inside. Joining Infosys, Mysore as students on 18th March, 2013 and turning into colleagues of some of the greatest minds of IT industry. What happened suddenly? From an Electronics Engineer to an IT Professional, that too a Java developer. What happened suddenly? A person can spend days, weeks, months and years without feeling anything new. Then when a new door opens, a positive avalanche pours in one moment, you have nothing, the next, you have more than you can cope with.

But as Sultana beautifully puts across in Patakha Guddi, when He is there, we needn't worry. As the songs found place in the mouths and hearts of many, I had my own reasons to beam with pride. It was a pleasurable moment telling people around me how I have met and interviewed these two singers. Film industry produced two back to back hits, Highway and then Queen. Both beautiful in their own ways yet leaving an entirely different impact on the soul.

Queen. What better than a couple of your friends texting you about how they wished they had seen the movie with you. Ranjha from the same movie. Put it on if you are a brave heart and can bear the void and screeching wave of pain it brings with itself. I ain't no movie critic but the simplicity of the lyrics along with the subtle music would instantly attract you to it like RabriFaluda would lure a girl on diet. She knows it's not good for her body, yet haves it and merrily divulges in the pool of pleasure it gives. Similarly, you know it's going to make you cry like a baby yet you are tempted to listen to it.

It was after quite a while that any movie could make you experience those velvety crests and troughs. It re-emphasized how when you are at the lowest, you gather the strength to bounce back with a higher amplitude. And that is when you feel how the entire universe would be in sync to help and guide you through. Then there was this let-go wall where just pinning up a piece of paper could make you drop a part of yourself and hence leave you feeling lighter. Could they have made it simpler? But can letting go be this easy? 

Highway on one side brought back a sweet realization of how your own self comes out differently with varied people. How a meager truck driver, her kidnapper, could reach a under-zillion-covers part of soul so smoothly. Why does it happen that sometimes, words find their way into sentences themselves with some people even when they aren't supposed to? But rather isn't it surprising how he could exude this story from her like a thread coming out of the eye of a needle. Smoothly yet piercing right through the center without letting the needle feel it in spite of knowing it. Many such people would come in your life, altering it in their own unique way, leaving you a more beautiful soul and closer to self than before. As Murakami writes, 'What happens when people open their souls? They become better.'

I think I fall in love a little bit with anyone who shows me their soul. This world is so guarded and fearful. Ripping apart yourself and portraying your soul to someone is an art too. In the world where there are more conversations and less interactions, rawness is much more appreciated. You owe people around you your time as it is more precious than money today. Pause for a while and listen, observe them while they speak, try and see through their souls, show them a place called home.

Memories in spate.

'Be careful what you set your heart upon- for it will surely be yours.'- James A. Baldwin

When your family happens to be at the receiving end of the good things you'd invested in, the attainment of bliss is indescribable. It began with getting the VIP entry upon exulting the three-word label, "Times Of India" and the guard, straightening up his back, bowed and allowed our car to enter the arena.The passes were verified and we were shown the way to the auditorium. Though it was jam packed, we (me and my family) managed to scooch in and sit on some just another seats in the last row. But spotting the heads in the crowd, I managed to see Mr. Manpal Tiwana (the organizer of the event) and went up to see him. Gladly greeting, to my surprise, he informed that the special seats were booked for me in the front row. And when the row had a label of 'PRESS' by its side, I had all the reasons to make merry. Taking my people to the near-to-the-stage row, I am unable to find words that might do justice to the beautiful feeling I experienced. Nooran Sisters, Coke Studio fame, were here in the city to perform and I was here to cover the event on the behalf of ToI. Unbelievable much? Suddenly it felt like being in the Tri-wizard tournament and finding the Goblet of Fire just at an arm's distance.

On stage Nooran Sisters

Apart from the soothing of ears, the two gorgeous girls soothed everyone's souls as well. Sufi music, as it is said, is liberating in its own way. It was visible as Jyoti Nooran sang with all the energy, soul and vigour. The crests and troughs that the sisters created in the air of the Harpal Tiwaana Centre of Performing Arts, it felt like someone had used the Stupefy spell on us. The evening ended on even a higher note. In lieu of the interview, I got to share some candid moments with the celebrities of the evening and what made it so beautiful was the their stark simplicity that they possessed.

Apart from travelling through the streets of Pakistan through their songs as they get the noor of their voice from Bibi Nooran (their grandmother) from that place, I got to see Kashmir and Srinagar as well. No, it wasn't an impromptu vacation. Instead, I got to meet the academic head of Career Launcher who was here in the shortest month of the year yet got himself registered in my memory with the longest list of adjectives besides his name. Mr. Vijay Kalyan Jha, meeting whom revived the dormant learning that when you got to achieve something, you must get away with the deadlocks at all costs. Braving the derogatory remarks, the bloodshed, unannounced curfews, India-Pakistan rivalry et al. Shocking instead of surprising, I learnt how the locals of the state would demarcate in being the residents of Pakistan instead of India. The ordeal to set up a CL center in the region where they won't allow a male to step inside a girls college, leave alone a fact of having a knowledge and interactive session with the students. CL is a company of impeccable heads put together, I tell you!

The past few months have indeed been a blessing in disguise where apart from exploring various avenues of interest, I have explored so many different shades of my personality which least did I know even existed. From being an inch closer to the English language to being able to taste the flavour of something which I always wanted to pursue as a full time profession, Journalism. God has really been great and I just hope that the grace continues. With a destiny-changing mail pouring in a few days ago, I experienced a bittersweet moment. Being made to read 'A Daughter leaving home' by Ray Hansell, I cried like a baby when the first thought of leaving home actualized in front of my eyes. I'll be flying down south in just a couple of days. Along with apprehensions of an entirely new place, new horizon, new latitude and longitude, I'm trying to remove dust from my box of excitement and thrill before I let it open. Apart from all the love and care of my family what I'll miss the most is my first job; wherein a part of me would always stay. Those known faces, smiles, tears, laughter sessions, hugs, sessions, classes and a couple of students. Career Launcher has been far far more than just being a folder's name in one of the drives of my laptop. From a student to a faculty, it has been a long yet a fruitful journey. I wish I had Hermoine's time turner to re-live a few moments before I finally let go of everything I had been holding till now or rather the things which held me together and let me put my head high. Truth to be told, I'm going to miss this baby like a heroin addict out of a failed rehab effort.

Chill outside. Nudging warmth within.

It all began with some parting hugs lending a feeling of incompleteness to the soul because I was set to embark a trip sans my family. But a tiny shining streak of the dormant excitement was enough to sustain my energies. With all such things, I was set for a 3 day road trip to Manali. Just as the phoenix rises from ashes, this trip was planned in one of the lowest moments and this actually made my soul rise like a phoenix. The tigress was back in action. 

Though it's just another place yet another world. Manali. Mountains have always fascinated me.It leaves me wondering about the kind of therapeutic effect they have on my soul. This time, they triggered a photographer in me. I brought home some spectacular clicks to cherish for the times ahead.

En route to Manali

The journey began from Chandigarh in the wee hours of 25th January when the landscape was such that a glimpse outside let some of the nostalgic moments knock my heart instead of the mind. 6 am in the morning, the hour of the day when even nature is at peace. The fleeting car kept on gulping large distances of the bare road sooner than my camera could capture them. The first bout of excitement spurted when we stopped at 'The Hill Top'. The moment I stepped out of the car to stretch myself, I found that the hotel was actually built on the top of the hill and going downhill were those tiny, curvy and self turning roads that exuded of adventure.  I wish I had a small cottage nearby with my daily chore to walk on those roads up the hill to write my dream book. Ah!

 

At breakfast destination.

Choosing to skip this flashy restaurant for a roadside dhaba, we moved further. The reason was that least did we want even the walls of any hotel to act as a barrier between our souls and mother nature. Home-made paranthas (Yes, we are Punjabis and this is our trademark breakfast!) coupled with chai (not tea) in those small pahaari glasses was the breakfast for the day. Jumping onto the terrace of the dhaba and relishing the breakfast with sunlight cutting through the clouds and distant snow capped mountains giving us company, I just felt one thing, "This is what heaven must feel like!" :)
 

Reservoir of Beas

But lesser we knew that we'd yet stepped onto just the wrapping sheet of the gift. The journey had just begun. From passing the Govind Sagar Lake to the very first view of mighty Beas, nature was at its intoxicating best where I managed to click some pictures which will continue gracing my home-screen for days to follow. Going by the belief, we stopped to bow head at Hanogi Mata mandir. It is believed that earlier the cars just used to vanish beyond this point of NH-22. Then this temple was built and by just paying obeisance at this place used to cut the devilish hurdles in the journey. It really did. (Read on to know!) Anyway, I love when Pandits apply the tikka on your temple. It feels like carrying the blessings of the place along with you. 

I skipped putting on my iPod shuffler for the entire journey because I wanted absorb the voices, faces, colours of HP and divulge in them with my 100% awareness. Just a distance further, I came across a very simple thing which was very unique for a person like me who has spent almost of quarter of my life living in plains. Cable car. Though it was not one of those tourist attraction sites but a rickety steel box that was used by locals to cross the Beas. Talking to a local lady dawned upon us how disparate life in hills is. It took her almost 2 hours to climb the entire mountain and then another hour cross the river through this. After all this, she finally could step on the road that connected her to the normal, speeding life. And we thought it was only difficult travelling in metros for hours to reach the destination. Ha!  

Captivating mountains with Manali airport in front

An unforeseen incident deflected our path for a while. In lieu of saving a sick jeep which, I guess, was trying to clear his another level of RoadRash in real, our speeding car came to the unwanted halt when zaaaap, it crashed with a truck. A narrow escape! Our good karma thought of being nice to us. To absorb what had just happened and plan for the trip ahead, we landed at the cutest house in my recent memory. Location: Kullu, here we were. What a scenic beauty the place possesses! Though I'm not a person who'd generally go into finer details of the architecture of the house but believe me, this simply filled the missing links of the oh-so-perfect landscape. The wooden furniture in the wooden house mesmerized me as much as did the small Manali airport with which the house shared a common wall. A large curtain-covered glass window in the living room was the only barrier between me and the writer-provoking mother nature. (I'm running out of adjectives to be used for nature.) Upon drawing the curtains aside, extravagant distant snow-capped mountains greet you. I got to sip my favourite green tea while sitting on a wooden rocking chair and fantasizing the snow capped mountains. It felt good. The temperature of Kullu is inversely proportional to the warmth people bestow upon you.

In the hotel garden.

After spending a while there, the journey to Manali continued. It all began with jumping with excitement upon seeing traces of snow on the sides as our car cut through the silent roads that led to heaven (read Manali). I simply wish to take those scenic snapshots with me to grave. Checking in the hotel and finding out that the entire hotel was submerged in snow was a smile harbinger. The 'distant snow capped' mountains were replaced with the feeling of being IN the snow. There was just a glass window of my room barring me from the adventure that could be had. If not on the beach-sand, I finally fulfilled my #BeforeIDie wish of scribbling my name on the snow. After being a night old in Manali and taking a walk on the Mall Road for a number of times, I practiced the art of walking on snow. Easy as it looks, a tiny trip and stumble of the foot sent a shrill down my spine. The balancing act enforced a belief in me that I wouldn't mind trying a walking-on-the-rope activity in a circus now.

Perfectly laid snow blanket.

26th January. National holidays were never this much fun. The next bright sunny day of the adventure began with a plan to go to Solang Valley and enjoy some winter sports but due to the thick blanket of snow we were unable to. There was a perfectly spread snow blanket forming its own crests and troughs in such beautiful way that I got a feeling that the Manali snow has a Do-Not-Disturb board attached to it. You do not feel like fiddling with the icing that nature has put forth for you. Instead of just snow-capped mountains there were entire snow slabs on our sides. And as our car moved, it felt as if a Bollywood flick was being shot and we being the protagonists. Because on paying close attention, nature plays a self-created melody for you that acts as the perfect background score complementing the scene. I felt requesting nature to play 'Katiya Karun' for me. Stopping the car mid-way, we had our snow-playing session. Snowballs were thrown at, snowman was made. I was never sure if the step I'll take will come back to the surface or will get dumped in the 4 feet snow blanket. Unbelievable but the snow was extremely dry and cotton-y soft which made playing in the snow all the more enjoyable. Without forgetting to mention, I got to fulfill another die-hard wish of skiing at another mountain of snow on the other side. Though I sucked terribly at it but it did not harm; taking a try by getting in skiing shoes, holding ski sticks and posing for some pictures to be kept as a memory. And the moment I just took a step, I had a mighty fall with lower half of my body totally in snow. Despite the numerous falls on snow, the smile didn't leave me. Wish the falls in life were this liberating and smile-evoking.

Yeh haseen waadiya.. yeh khula asmaan!

The final day. I woke up in a normal tempo but just a sneak-peek from my hotel room made me smile as if there was a hanger stuck in my mouth. Packing our luggage and checking out of the hotel, we set for a final sight-seeing place. The famous Hadimba Temple where I got to see some Angoora rabbits and yaks that triggered a childhood memory. It was one place where the minus temperature could actually be felt by the innermost bone of my body. The location and landscape was similar to Harry Potter's Hogsmeade. Just the missing links were my Ron and Hermoine and some butter beers. Nevertheless, I got to step on the specific location where the beautiful movie Roja was shot. I guess AR Rehman actually sat there to compose the song. It felt as if you have to play a treasure hunt game to just search for a 'play' button and every object would start humming this song for you.

How can my blog post be complete without a mention of food and cuisines I hogged onto. The restaurants there had exotic names. From Honey Hut and Chopsticks to Lazy Dog and Viscos, these are few nouns that got registered in my memory conquering their own special place.

Yes, I couldn't actually believe that it's snow in my hands!

Nature communicates to you. Be patient enough to listen. Manali presents a perfect ambiance for that patience to knock, enter and dwell in us. And Oh! Those captivating snapshots. Leave alone my soul, even my camera was grateful to the scenic beauty of the Manali. Looking back at the pictures, I'm yet to believe that I actually stepped onto and created some wonderful memories in that heaven out there. A vacation far more than what I had envisaged.

Been there, done that.

Just as the last few moments of the year 2012 tick by, I make it a point to spend some moments with Euphoria that can finally make my year complete in all respects. I thank God for being with me and my family. For helping me to create all the milestones that I have achieved in the year gone by that made me grow up with them. I thank Him for granting me all those happy, notorious yet special moments with my family and friends that now I boastfully add to the 'Memoirs' tag under this year.

Hoping for more smiles, bare happiness, more moolah, more fame, more reasons to workout, more health, more love to spread and cherish, more people to communicate with, more moments of praying, more reasons to make my family proud of me, ability to rise and shine et al.

2012 bags the 'Most unexpected year so far' award of my life. But doesn't every year get that? 31st, every year, witnesses this most cliche moment when I look back and think, "OMG! This too happened? How could it be!" So, I tell myself after this year, accept the zing factor that life offers. Take a dive into each of the surprises it has planned for you and emerge out with a greater amplitude.

Hope the next year brings goodwill for everyone alive on Earth at this hour and inculcates the need for service of humanity in everyone.

That'd be all as I set to start my year year in the same way I started this one. Seeking blessings of Almighty in everything I do.

2013, bring it on. I'm all set to shine. :)

Home.

'Home Sweet Home'- Your location on GPS which can make anyone in the world jealous of you. Specially the people sitting miles away from their home. I pen down this short blog entry just to keep this date as a memory. Yesterday, I gave a surprise visit to my folks here. And as they say, surprises are always welcomed. They indeed are. The normal evening family chit-chat was disrupted by my sudden arrival. And my travel-fatigue was disrupted by sudden shower of lovely hugs and kisses. The priceless experession on each of the faces would surely lend a smile on my face for at least a couple of weeks to follow. And believe me, it feels SO good to be back home. Especially after your impromptu plans falling into place.

Everyone at home got so surprised that there were bouts of happiness and smiles even after so many hours of my arrival. With someone waking up in the middle of the night and smiling upon seeing me sleeping peacefully in my bed to the other person pampering me to the fullest, I felt loved. There is so much peace and security in my castle. *touchwood* The whole city seems so like a cocoon. And like a snail, I feel so protected to return to it.
Time to catch some winks in my princess-y room. *stretches out*

Calm versus Chaos

"National holidays were never so dear. As I head home, this Republic Day, I thank my stars for making 26th January fall on Thursday. Taking a leave for Friday, I get to spend a loooong weekend with family. And as they say, home is where the heart is. And now, I actually second that.

Well, here I begin my most expected blog post of  the comparisons between my 'small-town' (read Patiala) and oh-so-big-city (read Delhi). If I have to describe Delhi in one word, I'd pick up: VIBRANT. Vibrant is one word which is just made for Delhi. It offers you so much more than you can actually absorb at once. After spending like ten days there, I got some time to observe and absorb the real fast life of Delhi. A common view of a metro station is sufficient to baffle a person like me for at least a jiffy, forcing to just take a deep breath and realize, what is actually going on. Exciting at first, routine at second and suffocating at last this hush-rush seems. Courtesy: Patiala being quite a silent city is much much calmer than the fast paced Delhi life. I always admired this busy hustle bustle but now when I have to face it everyday, it somehow sometimes seems as a chaos. Everyone is just running his/her own marathon. But I would definitely say that this super fast Dilli-routine is what makes you grow with it.It pulls the leash of your life along with it and increases its velocity manifolds. Simple as it is read but complex as the process actually takes place."

This is the post that was pending since like forever, lying in my drafts. But the voice of Kailash Kher and the soothing afternoon have been kind enough to grant me some courage to finally complete it. Thanks to the Ruskin Bond novel that I just finished a while ago which persuaded me to kick my blanket off and write a blog entry instead of catching some winks. As I mentioned the novel so let me just start the chapter of my life in past 2 months in decreasing order . 'The Room On The Roof'. I'd say, it was a gripping novel. Being my first Ruskin Bond novel, I was excited but extremely surprised, rather shocked to know that this was his first novel, hence special, and he wrote it at a tender age of seventeen. I read this in the prologue and said to myself, 'You are 21 and have just written a dream-book with a dream-pen. Gear up babe.'

Novel! I picked up a handful, oops bagful would be a better word, of books from the International book fair that was held at Pragati Maidan. Being in Delhi at that time, I just couldn't skip it and let me admit, it was just worth it. It seemed as if whole world is a big beautiful library and we just have one purpose in life i.e. to read. To read more and more. Though the beauty with which I have just put it in was a little marred by the prickly heat and immense rush there. Blame me for going there on last day. Laziness as someone calls it. *pulls-out-tongue*

Well, mentioning about the places I have visited wouldn't be interesting nor sufficient to describe what I want to. Because more than those places, it was varied variety of people that I happened to observe, see and meet. And it was those people that ended up adding onto my experiences.

I have so many things to put down because each new day here is a new page in my book of experience. With learning to handle various kinds of people to handling my own mood swings, I have to do to by myself. Have no family to pamper me 24x7 or friends to joke around and forget about it. Though I have found a bunch of new people whom I can call as 'friends' but as they say, no one can replace a few chosen ones who have actually walked with you on the path of life. Ooo, getting to philosophical. Let me get back.

I'll describe a few people who are now a part of my daily routine and who have got themselves registered under a specific and unique pictorial sketch in my head. Let me give them a one liner name and summarize their character sketch. I'm wicked. *evil-grin*

1. Ms.Chic-looking-rockstar: She was the first person I got to talk in my PG. And she was the one because of whom I gave my PG a tag of 'cool'. (How wannabe-ish. I know but there is a Gaga in all of us. *loud-laugh*) Eventually, knowing more about her, I came of know of the two uber-cool tattoos she had on her body. Were classy. And also came to know about the philosophies of her life. She was/is actually one person here who knows a little-more about me than everyone else out here. May be because we had something in common. Family stuff, to my shock. It is like, we meet some people in our lives who act as a sink for a few hours and extract so many things out of you gifting you with an unknown bond to cherish.

2. The Dukhi-est Aatma ever: I got to talk to this unique personality on the first night of my stay itself. Courtesy, I had left the common room's door open and she stood up while watching some of her daily soap (which was a great matter of concern) to dictate me of the rule to always shut the door. I happened to explore more of her Dukhi-sm in coming up days. Saw her fighting with all her strength (doesn't have much strength though. Is a skinny chotta-packet who wears half pants in winters and complains of cold while shivering) for the unmentionable electricity bill, gas bill, washroom usage and the list is long as per her. Blah blah blah... who cares?! All I know is that the aim of her life is to boast of the individual room she has got here. You will always find her with a particular mooh-fulao stern expression, sitting in the common room, working on her laptop with TV blabbering in front of her. Guess she had pledged to use all the facilities of PG AT ONCE!!! Phew.

3. Ms. I-Head-This-PG: Some people are born with this kind of leadership attitude. I would've respected this leadership quality if it'd been for some good cause. Talking to landlords about the maid, food and electricity is what she means by 'taking the responsibility' then it's time to look up dictionary, girl. So many wrong ideas. God. And the worst thing is when she would criticize someone (Criticizing is her breathing exercise that she has to do for her breathing to go on right.) she would do it using the worst of grammar ever. I correct one mistake in my head and here arrives another one. I think better title for her would be, Ms.Loudmouth. She is my current roommate. And while I write this, she arrives, peeps into my laptop, inquiring everything. Think of the 'devil' and the devil is here. *sigh*

4. Ms. Just-Another-Bollyfan: She was my first roommate. Her middle name according to me is 'enigma'. She is quite mysterious woman I have come across. Apart from that, thanks to her, my day used to begin with a dhinchak bollywood number that she'd play on her cell phone while she was getting ready for her office. And I tell you, that particular and peculiar lyric of the song will get stuck in your head, refusing to leave your mind and tongue. I used to end up humming it, looking at myself and exclaiming, 'Shut up, you fool!'. Blame the songwriters and composers. They would make the silliest lyric also sound peppy and catchy! I wonder how.

5.The Trio: I know there has been a repetitive use of so many Ms-s and her-s in all the character stories I have described above but sadly or gladly I live in a girls' PG and these are the only people that form my day's part. *super-naughty-expression*. Jokes apart, moving on, I chose not to explain the three more girls separately because for me they are more or less the same and there has nothing been striking enough about any one of them that needs a special mention. I can put it as, if I detested 'relationships' 80%, after meeting them and being with them, I detest them 90% now.

Anyhow, I like being here, if not love. As I said, experience. Two great proverbs that I keep on saying to myself time and again, 'Ignorance is Bliss' and 'Survival of the Fittest'. Befitting!

Well, that was a little insight into my new world. Would be mentioning about the few places I have seen, the people and colour of Delhi I have witnessed during my Dilli-ka-Daura. Cheers!

The other side of me.

A feel-good comment on my facebook profile picture just triggered the little girl in me to write this blogpost. With two thousand and eleven coming to an end, celebration and euphoria is in the air. But I happen to be at the opposite end of see-saw of this swing. My four years long association with the Alma mater, my graduation college just came to an end and the feeling has still not sunk in. And with six months long internship lying in front of me, the surprising world yet to be explored, frankly, I'm all nerves. Does that mean I'm not so adaptable to change? Well, let my future introspection session decide that.

Introspection! As I'm getting way too much free time as of now, introspection is quite frequent. Mostly the few moments of solitude that I usually experience before just falling asleep. Or when I wake up in the middle of the night with my eyes hovering around, my brain numb, I tend to sink inwards and think about numerous random things. This always yields a few surprises for me because it is simply mind boggling to see what all incidents and flashbacks from my life have occupied a part of my subconscious. Being a Gemini, true to the core, I have multiple personalities. Two striking personalities swap way too soon, sometimes putting me in confusion too. My alter ego is what always masks my original self and has always been taking almost everyone for a ride. Not intentionally but naturally.

Going back to the starting of the blog while keeping in mind what I just mentioned, my personality i.e. my alter ego, what everyone witnesses usually is full of life (that was the comment on my facebook profile picture), outgoing and what not. But the natural self which comes out rarely and in front of rare people is a silly little scared girl who is always thinking way too much and searching for her cocoon almost everywhere and in almost every situation. Yes, it IS confusing for me too. When things don't go according to me, general tendency of my alter ego is to exude the different and a wide array of cusses that I've recently learnt and registered in my mind. But my original self shrinks, inside, way too much to an unmentionable size and alienate almost from everyone, simply to not let anyone reach there. And what needs to escape me from there is a simple heart-to-heart talk with someone or something exciting to provide me with a whiff of fresh air and escape me from that shell I make for myself, way too soon.

With so many people around me to love me, I still withdraw and cut-off myself way too soon. Though it doesn't yield any solution but I guess, I feel secure in my own tiny shell. I sulk, I think, I introspect, form notions in this tiny space of mine. But all this goes according to what I want. And that's what keeps me satisfied and happy in this shell. The privacy of my mind. But long twenty one years and I still haven't been able to kick that side of me and let my alter ego overlap my original self. Difficult.

Not-so-good.

Ah! It's December already. The year end. As I write this, 'year end', I have a satisfied smile on my face as 2011 will finally be over and 2012 will bring new hopes, new wishes and a fresh euphoria to deal with it all. Looking back, 2011 hasn't been a very fair year, specially the later half of the year. Courtesy the new health problem on family front. Hospitals and doctors were the two things that decided our smiles, our sigh-of-relief-s and definitely shadowed most of the part of our daily prayers. Sad but true. Keeping up with all these tiny-winy problems, I saw the strong family bond emerging from in between that was always and every time there but somehow went unnoticed. And again as the cliche fact goes that it is indeed the most difficult and painful thing to see your loved ones in pain. It was a heavy and painful year for indeed each member of the family with still no respite from it.

Medicines, injections, needles, prescriptions, test reports, cotton swabs filled with spirit made my house more of a hospital. It was horrifying to witness it. The way the particular nerve is searched, applied spirit on and then a needle piercing that nerve filling the whole body with some strong antibiotic that we all had plunged our hopes on, that THIS may finally work. That completely shook me as I was sitting besides my Massi who was the brave soul going through all this.

The unbearable pain. The wailing noises. The thousands of tears. The millions of prayers. This is what my family went through in the past few months. All this was so much intensified that we all almost forgot all the good things that happened in each one of our lives. The good things that we remember are how many times doctors said, 'operation was successful', 'she's doing better now', 'this new medicine seems to work' or 'she will be discharged in a few days'. Phew. The definition of 'good' changes with time. I wonder how. And I wonder why.

And the problem is still not over. I just hope and pray that everything falls back into place by mid-December and we all bid a happy goodbye to the heavy year 2011.

I guess this has been the most bare post in recent times with my fingers pressing the exact keys as my heart telling them to and not the brain for a change. And I'm liking it. Wish I have some pretty angels near me sitting and reading this post and thinking of blessing my family a little. How I wish.